Finding a fuck buddy is a process. That process can sometimes be really quick. Maybe you are out for the night, you see someone you like, you go over and it is instant chemistry! Bam – you both head back together to yours/theirs and you have a great night together. The next day you roll over and you still like what you see, and they do as well, so you exchange numbers and before you know it you have a fuck buddy on speed dial! It can happen like that. For a lot of people though, it does not happen as easily as this. For most people there is a bit of a process that has to take place on the journey there. You usually have to speak to a number of people before you meet someone that you like where there is chemistry. You often don’t sleep with someone the very first time you meet them. There is usually a back and forth that happens between the first meeting and the sex during which time you have to step through a careful dance. The dance can be really good fun, and it can make the sex better when you get there for, as humans, we value more highly that which we have fought and laboured for. It remains a tricky dance at times and one with pitfalls.
So you meet someone, maybe at a bar where they are a complete stranger or maybe at a house party where there is a connection of sorts. You chat, you like each other so you exchange numbers… but now you have to make a decision. When do you text them? There are different options and this can have different effects, so here are the options and the choices to help you decide.
Texting the same night
This can be really powerful. If you built a lot of chemistry in the moment and you can text them the same night and cash in / continue that, it can be a great move. For some people who need reassurance and comfort, this can also be a comfort builder. Some warnings though, you want to keep it light and snappy. You also want them to read it the same night, so if you are still out till 5am and they are asleep by 2am, don’t text them at 3am! Finally, do not send a long over the top message. If it is same night, keep it light!
The next morning
You want to think about their state of mind when reading it. If they have been drinking don’t send it when they are hung over! Wait till they have had some recovery time then send it. If they are sober this can be a good call.
The next evening
If you are going to wait till the next day, this is better than the morning for the reasons stated above.
2-3 days later
This can be a power move IF they were really into you. If not then they might have forgotten who you are!
A week later
I think this is too much generally. They will likely have mentally moved on. Do not wait this long!
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