Don’t fake an orgasm – but do be nice to the other person when you don’t come

20 Jun 2016 - 20:34 | Tags: faking orgasms, female orgasm, finding orgasms

We all want to please and be pleased. We all want that thing where we come really hard, have our minds blown and have the peace and calm that comes with post sex awesomeness. We also want the other person to have the same reaction. I am not sure why this is, is it just pure ego? Regardless of the why, we want the other person to feel amazing by what ever we have done with them. We want them to have come hard, to have been pleasured fully, and to want nothing more than to do it again (and again) with you because it was that amazing.

In an effort to maintain a good relationship, many people have been taught that they should fake it once in a while. I am mostly talking about women here, but men also do get this a little. They think that the occasional faking of an orgasm when it is not actually taking place is no harm, and that next time they are sure it will be better. They don’t want to set the other person up with a mental block about not being able to make them come, and I do get that. In many ways I admire the generosity – however it is not helpful and that generous approach can be better used in another way. Allow me to explain.

When you fake it, you are giving false feedback. You are telling the other person that what they are doing is great, that whatever they did made you come, made you orgasm. As humans one of the reasons that we have done so well as a race is that we are great at learning. We excel at the obsorbing of what works and does not work on a subconscious level, and then replicating the things that have brought us success. What this means is if you give false feedback, the other person learns that what they did worked. When they do it again in the future expecting you to come, and you don’t, this will be very confusing. More likely is that when they do it again, you will fake it again, confirming that whatever they did made you come. This re enforces the cycle.

What this leaves is a situation where you aren’t having an orgasm, and the other person falsely believes that you are and that everything is great. Don’t do it. Just DON’T. It is bad for everyone involved.

On that note, please go forth and have lots of sex!

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