Whether we want to or not, eventually if we are sleeping with someone, we will become to have feelings for them and attachments. Having sex was traditionally called “being intimate” – and being intimate with someone develops exactly that, it grows intimacy. You begin to come together as people, and as that closeness grows there are many positive things that come from it. You begin to care about each other, you begin to make efforts to be nicer to each other, you get to know each other more and more – and from that everything gets better. The way you are with each other, the way you joke with each other, even the sex gets better as you learn each other’s bodies and what your preferences are.
Eventually often you end up “going out” and often that also ends. When you are no longer with your ex girlfriend, it can be really hard to move on. You can find yourself missing the intimacy, the closeness, the care that you shared. So how can you really move on?
Crush all hope
The hope that you may get back together is something that will hold you back. You want to be back together, and as much as you might logically know that it is not going to happen, it doesn’t stop you hoping, and it is the hope that will hope you back. Know that she is having sex with other people. Accept fully that she is fucking other guys (or girls) and that she is loving it. They are making her scream with delight and come as hard as she did with you, and in those moments she is not thinking of you, she is thinking of them. Let go of hope, and hope will let you move on.
Everything she said was a lie
She meant it in the moment, and giving her the benefit of the doubt for a moment she probably didn’t even know that she was lieing at the time, but she was. She is not staying faithful, she does not love you, and anything she promised is now off the cards. All bets are off. This is key.
Finally – accept that moving on does not undermine anything you promised / said
Many people have trouble moving on because it can feel like a betrayal of any promises that you made, anything that you said. Know that you meant them at the time, but now that things have changed you can let it go without betraying yourself. This is often the final step.
The best way of getting over it fast? Get laid. Sleep with someone else, it is one of the most helpful things that you can do for yourself.