Rejection. This is something that is really hard to accept. No matter what area in life we experience rejection, when we do, it is always hard. Going for a job we really want and then being told they are giving it to someone else can really hurt. Asking a friend to come to your party / dinner / event and they say no because they are going to something else already can sting. Seeing if your family want to come and help you with something but they say they cannot because they have the kids that weekend, even this is a rejection (as understandable as it is). All of this has one thing in common, ultimately you are getting rejected whilst someone else is not. The employer that didn’t give you the job did give it to someone else. The friend who isn’t spending time with you is choosing to spend their time with another friend over spending time with you. The family member, as much as we logically know that spending time with their kids is completely normal and reasonable, is still prioritising another human over you. This is part of the foundational reason that rejection is so hard to handle sometimes. You are getting rejected, but someone else isn’t. So what makes them so much better than you that they get chosen over you!? This has never been more apt than when you are reject in favour of another lover. It questions your existence as a desirable human being. What exactly is it that the other fuck buddy had that you did not?! You have to learn to bounce back from this.
Why you have to bounce back quickly
Time and your life only moves in one direction (and I am not referring to the band). The longer you spend getting over the rejection, the longer it takes for you to get back out there and meet people… and to some degree it is a numbers game. You have to meet a certain amount of people to find someone where there is chemistry, so the sooner you bounce, the quicker you are back in the game.
Understand most of the time it is not you!
This is a tricky one, but understand it is not you most of the time. It is how they are wired, the environmental conditions of their life, what they have been conditioned into believing. All of this happened in the decades before you met, so it has nothing to do with you.
The “other” person did not beat you, they are inconsequential
Finally, the “other” person that got to sleep with the fuck buddy you wanted did not beat you. They are not better (or worse) than you, they are just a different flavour of person. That is all it is.
So, try and bounce fast. It is not you, it is them.