Why use porn when you can have the real thing?

21 May 2016 - 20:04 | Tags: porn in casual sex, porn, casual sex problems

Why? WHY!??! I thought I would start this article with what would have been the end of the article. I am here to talk about porn, and the fact that we use it instead of the real thing. I want to start by telling you my conclusion. There is nothing wrong with porn, and actually I would encourage people to look at it and use it – both men and women that is. What I would say is that the balance is to ensure that whilst you are using porn, be aware to not allow porn use to replace your desire for the real thing – more importantly don’t allow porn use to reduce the amount that you do the real thing. It is really good to have actual real sex. It is healthy, makes you happy, and the act as far as I can tell can never really be replaced by anything at all. So *do both*. Yes use porn, and enjoy using it in a guilt free fashion for know that you are doing nothing wrong! However – make sure that you *also* keep having real sex with real people.

So now allow me to back track a little and talk through the thinking.

Porn is great. There is something about it that fills an instant need. We love looking at it, and it is also really morish. Once you have had a little, rather than sate your appetite, it actually leaves you hungry for *more* rather than less. There is nothing wrong in this, and actually since it leads to masturbation this is actually a good thing. If you want to be able to come and orgasm in the bedroom, you first really need to know how to come and orgasm by yourself. It actually takes a little practice, and the best way of getting that practice is by doing it yourself.

The danger is that too much porn can leave you with unrealistic expectations of how sex is and what the other people that you are having sex with are like in bed. For men especially, it leaves expectations that you are going to last in the bedroom for far longer than is natural for most people, and that the women/men you are sleeping with are mostly super subservient and with literally porn star looks. Most women do not look like the women in porn films, and most men do not last the length of time that they do in the video clips.

So this can then lead to you have less actual sex. Getting off to porn is easy, safe and without any possibility of rejection or problems. Don’t fall into this trap.

So use porn – but also keep having real sex.

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