Start with Sex then date afterwards – The RIGHT way to do this

20 Sep 2015 - 15:33 | Tags: sex, sex is great, friends with benefits

People are doing this the wrong way around. They are dating then having sex afterwards. I say have the sex first then move to the dating second, and here is why.

Traditionally the standard male to female courting process goes like this:

• Zero Hour: See a girl that you like

• Month One: Approach the girl, try and be nice to her whilst hiding your nerves

• Month Two: You are now on comfortable speaking terms, try and get the courage up to ask her out, failing each time to get to the point, despite your best rehearsed-in-the-mirror plans to do so.

• Month Three: Finally pluck up the courage to ask the girl out to dinner and she says yes, or failing that you've gone out on a social night, you get drunk and eventually kiss the girl! Either way you have made it to the point where you are now clear that you like the girl and she has agreed to graciously allow you to spend your money buying her dinner.

• Month Four: You go on multiple dinner dates, you are building a really nice rapport and connection, and you both love spending time with each other. You haven’t got to the point of sleeping with each other yet, and you are hesitant to be too pushy about it as you want to be a nice guy and not scare her away.

• Month Five/Six: You finally do it! You have sex with each other! And it is....
... and this is where it gets interesting. Perhaps it is great sex, in which case stop reading now there is no issue. However what is more likely is that you are sexually incompatible and it wasn't that brilliant.

The issue here is that people find change hard. There is an old cliché “I love you now change” . People do not change that easily, and if you end up with some with whom you cannot have not have a mind blowing night with, then this relationship is now in trouble. In a standard monogamous relationship, you can only sleep with each other, so now if you keep dating this person you are committing to bad sex for potentially the rest of your life. The worst part of this is that it has taken you up to 6 months to get there and find out!

Start with the sex first. If it doesn't work for you in bed, then you know nice and early and both you and your partner can move on before you have invested months into trying to build a relationship that was doomed to failure from the start.

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