Casual sex. One night stand. Hook up. These terms dance about a phrase that we embrace but that modern western society still has trouble accepting. The term “Fuck buddy” still sounds seedy to many people. Yet it has the same connotations and meaning as the terms ‘casual sex’ and ‘hook up’ do. Why then do people still feel like they have to hide behind what they consider a more socially acceptable term? Isn’t a spade a spade?
There is a difference
According to several lifestyle magazines, dating apps and the commentaries there is indeed a difference in meaning between the casual sex terms.
Fuck Buddy
The term ‘fuck buddy’ according to one source denotes a regular sexual relationship with someone who becomes a friend. Having had several fuck buddies myself in the past I can safely say that not all of them I have remained friends with. Why? For me it’s hard to be friends with someone you’ve had sex with that you weren’t friends with before. Several of the women in our office have experience the same thing and I was relieved to know I was not alone. For us a fuck buddy is exactly that: a buddy you meet up with and have sex with. They’re not a friend.
Friend With Benefits
This is more common with many people. A friend with benefits is someone who you already know as a friend. One day (or night) you both decide to have sex with one another and even though you’re still friends you decide to have sex on a semi regular basis. The difference between this and a standard relationship is that there is no romantic commitment on other side.
One Night Stand
This one is more understandable as the clue’s in the title. This is just sex with someone you meet one night and are never going to see again. You get some and then you get gone. This kind of casual sex is perhaps where most people gain the seedy misconception of the whole thing. A one night stand can be really good or it can be really bad. There is rarely a middle ground.
Booty Call
The definition lines blur here as the booty call is very similar to the fuck buddy and in cases the friend with benefits. However the booty call is much more specific. You phone someone with the express purpose to have sex with them. There are no formalities. There are no pleasantries (aside from the sex of course). You just call and shag so to speak.
Why the shame then?
Good question. A lot of it has to do with your own preconceptions about sex and how you want the world to view you. If you truly do not care what other people think then you will have no problem describing yourself as having a fuck buddy if that’s what you have.
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