We are the film generation. We grew up on good quality films, and we are native to that. We are used to seeing stories told on the big screen (or little screen if you tend to watch things on DVD), we are used to things being carefully orchestrated and shot, people looking perfect and saying the exact right thing at the right moment. This includes everything including the way that sex is portrayed in films.
Sex in films is perfect. It starts slow with moving camera shots across perfectly lit skin. Both people (and it is usually a white man and woman) have clean glowing skin, the perfect speed of movement and no awkwardness. Clothes fall from the bodies with no effort at all, socks never get taken off in a hasty fashion, bra straps never get caught, zips are never difficult to undo. Everything is super smooth.
When they get to the sex itself, it is all gentle rocking and perfect moaning. It goes on for an un measurable amount of time, it could be a few minutes, but the general impression they give is that it has lasted for hours. Both people fall back or curl up together happy and satisfied, there is no fumbling with condoms, no mess to clean up. The girl doesn’t reach for a tissue because she wants to wipe the come from herself, the man doesn’t down water from a cup feeling dehydrated from the sex. Everything is perfect in films, I mean too perfect.
There is nothing wrong with this, films are exactly that, films. They are a fantasy that doesn’t exist, we know that this is not real, no one really expects themselves to be able to perform like the guys in the movies. However despite this logical knowing that we should not try and be the impossible, on some level we still all aspire to it. We all would *love* to be like our favourite film stars, we all would love to act like them, earn like them, have sex like them. We need to remember that it is fake.
No one can have sex like they do in the movies because it isn’t real. That includes porn movies as well as 15 rated film movies. If we think that its how it “should” be, we will condemn ourselves to unhappiness and misery. If we come to buy the lie that this is how people can have sex, and that it is simply us who are not able to, not up to it, then we are cursing ourselves to deep seated insecurities and unhappiness.
Film sex is not real sex, and the two should never be compared. Remember this next time you have a fuck and wonder why you came in less than 5 hours.
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