You might be forgiven for thinking this a ‘no-brainer’ considering the nature of our site, but even in casual relationships fantasy can be either helpful or harmful.
The Facts
On the face of it when you meet up with someone just to have sex with them, fantasising about someone else seems trivial. Why should either of you care whether or not you’re thinking about them when you’re fucking? This line of thinking is certainly valid if you have little to no connection with a fuck buddy other than physical. However we know that even when it comes to casual sex a physical connection is rarely the only thing that makes the sex great. People are people and the brain is the most powerful sexual organ in the body. What’s the point of having sex with someone who is physically perfect but a complete mental turn off? None at all in our view. So with that in mind, the question of whether or not you fantasise about someone else during sex becomes relevant in casual sex.
Is it okay?
Yes and no. Fantasies can help restore a flagging libido and reignite the pleasure gained from sex. However they are kept secret they can cause division between two people.
How should you approach fantasy?
Too much of anything can be bad. Consuming too much alcohol, working excessively, eating too much are all bad for you, yet they are all integral parts of daily life. The answer becomes one of balance. Indulging in a little fantasy can be liberating particularly during sex. Keeping your fantasy secret from your partner – casual or not – can cause a friction between the two of you and it will be noticed during sex. So the answer is to maintain a balance.
What you should do?
If you want to fantasise about someone else when having sex why not share it with your fuck buddy? Not only will it show them the respect you have for them by being honest, but it might encourage them to be as equally as honest with you and share their fantasy. You could even do a little role play and actually act out the fantasy.
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