Having a high sense of self-esteem has proven to be something that is key not just to happiness, but to our success in the world that we live in. People with high self-esteem get better jobs, earn more money, and are able to pursue the things that are going to make them happy (which leaves them happier). They are able to do this because they have a higher sense of belief in themselves and their ability. Often it is not because they think that they are any better at something, they just think that everyone can do it including them. This is not about having a big ego, I am not saying that overweening pride is a good thing (because it really is not at all), I am saying that having a good sense of self-esteem is important to living the life you want to lead. So how can you increase your self-esteem?
What everyone tells you that works, that has limited use
There are a lot of books, guides and people that tell you one way to increase your self-esteem is to just tell yourself that you are better. An example is being told to stare in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you are a strong, independent person with love, life and value to offer the world and that the world loves you. Now, I am not saying that this does not have some positive effect, because it does. Mantras or repeating positive things about yourself to yourself can help you trick yourself into believing them. What I am saying is that it is a tick, you know it is a trick, and therefore it is quite hard to make it stick. Doing this has some beneficial effect, but that effect is limited. You have to do a lot to make headway. There is a more effective way.
As much as being internally validated is the ideal state to be in, the easiest way to get there is to be externally validated first. If you have people around you telling you that you are great, that is so much easier to believe that you doing it to yourself. You know that when you tell yourself, you are trying to fake it till you make it, but when someone else tells you, then you can take that at face value. So how do you get someone to do it in the most effective way? Sex of course.
Get a fuck buddy to help you build your self-esteem.
When you fuck someone hard, and I mean really pleasure them, they are in a state that is created by you. Their compliments, pleasure and joy in you is real and irrefutable. So if you want to build your esteem, consider getting a fuck buddy, showing them a good time, then making sure you bed in that their happiness was caused by you. You were the centre of their universe for those moments, and you have real value in the world. This is a fast track. Once it is bedded in, you internalise it and you are then internally validated for life.
Go get ‘em tiger!