Whether you are looking for a casual relationship, a one of threesome, a regular f-buddy, a long term relationship or even your hearts true love, it is actually all a numbers game.
When trying to get a girl or guy into a romantic or sexual context, we often out the onus on ourselves in terms of how it went. If it goes “badly” then we will instinctively look inwards to ourselves to see what we did “wrong” or even more what is wrong with us. That can often lead to incorrect assumptions about ourselves. I was too talky/I didn’t talk enough. I was too loud/I was too quiet. (S)He would have liked me more if only I have been richer/better looking/stronger/better dressed etc etc. We then would often take action on these learnings. We would put huge effort into going to the gym, or into earning more money. We would go and spend what money we have on better clothes, or perhaps learn a language to impress a girl/guy. There is no limit to the extent that we will go in this regard...
...when actually maybe we just need to play the numbers game. If you meet, let’s say you like girls for a second, a girl you really like. You find out about her and you realise what she really wants is to date a doctor. You really want a girlfriend, but you are a builder. So you put huge effort to change your life to become a doctor. You go to University, you work hard, you take exams and eventually you become a doctor. At this point, maybe she decides she likes you and goes out with you, or maybe not. The important thing here is that you spent your time and effort/energy on changing your self to better suit the requirements of this one girl. Why not do it the other way?
You see, there will also be a ton of girls out there who want to date a builder. They want a guy who is strong, works with his hands rather than just his brain, who can make things. So rather then spend time and effort trying to change to be someone else that the girl in front of you wants, why not instead spend that effort looking for the girl who actually wants you as you are now! The girl for whom you are already the ideal f-buddy/relationship/threesome partner etc etc.
This is a numbers game, so play the numbers and you will eventually discover the person for whom you are the perfect find!