Is it a good idea to have sex when you’re feeling low?

5 Jun 2014 - 15:44 | Tags: having sex when depressed

One word answer: Yes.

End of post.

Only kidding!

That was a very flippant and lazy response to an awkward question.

The one consistent thing that always happens when you’re not feeling 100% is that you feel vulnerable. Being physically and/or emotionally exhausted means that you’re more open to suggestion then you usually are. When it comes to sex this can lead you in strange directions. It’s a bit like when you’re a student for the first time and you have this sudden freedom with low to no consequences. All of a sudden casual sex becomes an easy way to feel wanted.

Is this a good thing?

Well, it can be (which is why I flippantly said ‘yes’ to the question earlier). Just because you’re having sex with someone who isn’t a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband or wife doesn’t mean that it is bad for you. From a physiological perspective sex is an excellent way to increase the endorphin count in your bloodstream making you feel instantly better and more relaxed. From an emotional perspective…it really does depend on the kind of partner you’ve chosen to have sex with.

If you have sex with someone who is fun and easy going, then the chances are you’re going to enjoy the sex whole heartedly with no issues. If you have sex with someone who is as low and vulnerable as you, then you might have a problem. Having sex with someone like this can lead to increased emotional problems for the both of you. You’re both feeling low and you both will have a tendency to start asking internalised questions that are no good; What does this mean? Does he/she want more because I’ve just slept with them?

You might also start regretting sleeping with the other person. This is bad as it can lead to feelings of guilt and hurt for both parties.

Having casual sex when you’re feeling low 9 times out of 10 can be a very healthy and fun thing to do. However you have to choose your partner carefully. Make sure you pick someone who is in a good place emotionally. Make sure they’re fun and can help show you how to have a good time with a minimum of worry and awkwardness. If you have any doubts about the mental state of the person you’re about to have sex with, then our recommendation is to never go through it. You’ll only end up feeling worse and possibly making the other person feel worse.

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