The Green Eyed Monster: Jealously

17 Jan 2015 - 10:12 | Tags: casual sex jealously, casual sex rules

So you’ve been busy having sex with one or several fellow buddies. It feels great! You’re getting laid regularly and feel like a King or Queen as you walk down the street. No one knows how to strut like you! Then all of a sudden you have a night in and you casually text your buddy. You ask if they’re free for a little fun later on. You get a reply saying ‘sorry no I’m busy later’. You feel a little taken aback all of a sudden. You start asking questions. What could be so important for your fuck buddy not to want to spend a few fun hours having sex with you? What could they possibly be doing that is better? Who could they possibly be seeing who is better than you?

That’s how jealously in a casual relationship begins.

How to conquer jealously in open relationships
Don’t feel bad if you recognize yourself in these questions. We’ve all been there. We’ve all wondered what someone we’ve been having sex with is up to right now. We all know that we shouldn’t be jealous if we knew from the outset that it is just casual sex. But guess what? We also know that we’re only human and sex is one of the most intimate things humans can share. It’s no wonder that jealously will rear its ugly head. So how do we stop it?

1. Recognize and acknowledge it
Ignoring your jealously is a sure fire way to kill casual sex dead. Your partner won’t be interested in your sudden mood changes. They will just move on to someone else. Recognizing and acknowledging the jealously is the first step in dealing with it

2. Talk about it
Sounds scary, but discussing your feelings with your fuck buddy is worth doing for several reasons. If they don’t feel the same way then it’s good that they know how you feel and you can walk away before you get hurt. If they do feel the same way then you are now both aware of each other’s boundaries.

3. Walk away if you can’t handle it
If you feel the jealously is affecting your casual relationships then walk away for a bit. Do something else. Enjoy other aspects of your life. Then when you feel ready to try it again you can always come back to it.

4. Don’t ever ignore it
Ignore jealously at your peril! It has a habit of wrecking your life and relationships – not just the casual ones.

Jealously is something that can bleed into other areas of your life before you even recognize the damage it causes. Make sure you’re self aware enough to know the signs and do something about it.

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