Casual Sex: How to protect your feelings

casual sex with no feelings

Despite what millions of porn videos and films would have us believe, it is not that simple to distance emotion from sex. We’re all human beings and as human beings, we feel things. It only takes one little negative reply or text to get even the most jaded cynical person in the world crying into their hanky like a little boy. We bolster ourselves up and convince ourselves that we will never become the person who gets hurt in a casual hook up or romance. Yet we almost always do. The rare exceptions are those people completely incapable of opening themselves up to feeling. They try to purge their emotions but in so doing only end up hurting themselves. It doesn’t have to be like that though. Here are a few clever ways you can protect your feelings and still enjoy casual sex.

1. Go With the Flow
If you hook up with someone, have sex with them and find you liked them enough to do it again, do it. Let yourself be swept up into the excitement of having sex with a new person. Don’t run away from it if they want to see you again and if you want to see them again. Just see how it goes. Casual sex comes with an expiration date one way or the other so try not to worry about it.

2. Don’t over-think your texts
The worst thing people do in casual sex is to over think what they write in a text message. Instead of spending hours wondering how to let a fuck buddy you want to see them again, just tell them. If they don’t they won’t. If they like you they will. Just go with it.

3. Consider if Casual Sex is for you
We’d be stupid to say that casual sex is for everyone. Some people enjoy it, some people don’t. The trick is in knowing which person you are and the only way to find that out is to experiment with it. Have some casual sex and see how you feel. If you find you enjoy it, then by all means continue to enjoy it. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.

4. Be Clear and Honest with your partners
The big mistake most people engaging in casual sex make is not being honest with their partners about what they want and how they feel. It’s unfair not to let someone you’re having sex with know how you’re feeling. Be honest from the outset. You can hurt yourself and your fuck buddies if you aren’t.

5. Watch the Regularity
This seems a counterintuitive remark considering we encouraged you to go with the flow, but it’s important not to become too accustomed to sex with the same person in casual relationships. The whole point of casual sex is that it’s casual. Hooking up once every couple of weeks is fine, but the more regular the hook up, the more chance one or both of you have of getting attached becomes. Humans are natural bonding creatures. That’s not a bad thing. But if you’re looking just for casual sex, you really don’t want to be sleeping with the same person on a very regular basis.

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