If we want to get better at something, listening to the professionals is always a good idea. Rather than trying to work something out ourselves, going to someone who has spent years (or even decades) thinking about that subject and taking their advice on it is always a good idea. If you needed surgery, you wouldn’t watch a YouTube video on how to do it then give it a go! You would go to a professional. So when it comes to sex, I am always surprised that people are often hesitant to go and speak to professionals about how to improve their sex life. Most people who have a fuck buddy or a friends with benefits wants to be having better sex. A good sex life can be a stabilising force that carries us through both the good and the bad times, so it is important to spend time on it.
I understand that a lot of people would not want to go and see a sex therapist, especially if there is nothing specifically wrong that galvanises them to take action to improve their sex life with their fuck buddy. So, to help out, in this article I have laid out some of the top tips that a sex therapist would want you to know. To give you confidence, these are all things that the relevant therapist also does herself, so she gives the advice that she has also tested in the field!
Never kink and fetish shame
You want to have a trusting space between you and your fuck buddy, one where either of you can say anything. Even a hint of kink shaming can ruin this. If your fuck buddy is brave and bold enough to share something that they are interested in, reward that. If it is not something you are comfortable with, you should not feel forced into carry out the fantasy, but never shame it. This will provide a space where both of you can share your sex thoughts with each other, ultimately leading to better sex for both of you.
Share what turns you on
Be brave and go first. Once you share what turns you on, your fuck buddy will likely do the same. Once you both know what does and doesn’t work for each other, you are in the perfect position to be each other’s sex slaves!
Do not be shy when it comes to sex toys or sex enhancers
The twenty first century has brought with it a plethora of sex toys, sex enhancers and other sex advances. Embrace that for a better sex life. Some people, particularly men, do not like the idea of sex toys as they see it as a comparison to their “ability”. This is not the case. Think of it as using a computer instead of a type writer as a tool to enhance your expression. Embrace it, and it will reward you.