“Are you a member of the mile high club?”
“Do you enjoy a spot of dogging in the morning?”
The amount of times I’ve been asked these questions makes me wonder if I have the words “SEX ADDICT” tattooed on my forehead. However these are perfectly reasonable questions to ask nowadays. At least that’s what people in the office tell me.
Confining sex to the bedroom has become ‘so 1950s’ according to half the women I’ve spoken to lately. Sex in the living room, sex in the bathroom, sex in the kitchen, sex in the shed, sex in the garden…and that’s just your home to start with. These days if you want to spice up your sex life then you need to be thinking about the best places to try it outside of the bedroom.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
The old cliché of having sex on a plane is a cliché for a reason; people do it because of the risk factor. The same goes for having sex on a train or in a car or basically anywhere where there is a very real risk of being caught. Deep down inside of even the most hardened uptight conservative…a risk taking sexual demon is squirming to take control. And properly regulated, there’s nothing wrong with letting the little blighter out to play.
But what are the advantages and disadvantages to having sex on planes or trains?
Orgasm at 3,000 feet
Who hasn’t wanted to have an orgasm miles above the ground? If you just said ‘no’ I would accuse you of being a liar. The thrill of banging each other’s brains out whilst flying over the Pacific or Europe is enough to send most people on a one way ticket to climax. The fear of getting caught and the knowledge that you are surrounded by 100s of people – some of whom are less then five feet away if you’re in the toilet cubicle – sends shivers of pleasure up and down many peoples’ spines.
Just make sure you’ve locked the door before dropping your drawers.
Now arriving at Platform 12…
Funnily enough sex on a train has never held quite the modern popularity as sex on a plane does. Which is strange really as having sex on a train can be even more exciting and pleasurable. Why?
Well as a train starts picking up speed and swaying from side to side, the motions can induce extreme amounts of pleasure whilst having sex. Sometimes you don’t even have to put any effort in yourself in order to climax. Just sit back, crouch, bend or lie down…and let the 9.34 to London Euston do the work for you.
Revving up your engine
Cars. Classic. Mobile. Sexual. Cars have held a sexual fascination for people for years. It is the first place outside of the bedroom that people will use to have sex in. It is also the most dangerous place outside of the bedroom to get caught unless you drive out to the middle of nowhere. It can also be the most uncomfortable place to have sex if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Mind the handbrake, watch the clutch and whatever you do…don’t accidentally push the seats back. It can be awkward. Painfully awkward.
Don’t Delay…Have a play
Wherever you decide to have sex…be it in the back of a VW Golf or the toilet cubicle in a 747 to New York...keep a look out…you never know who might be watching.
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