How often have you gone up to someone you like the look of in a bar or club and said something that sounded really good in your head, but ended up coming out like a criminal activities report?
I can hold my hand up on this one as well. I’m not shy in admitting it.
We all mess up, but what’s important is what we can learn from it and what we can do to improve ourselves. Online dating gives us the opportunity to hone our chat up lines by deciding what to write in our first message to someone.
1st Message rules
Read The Profile
Saying ‘hello’ can be the hardest thing in the world sometimes, especially if you fancy the person you want to say ‘hi’ to. Fortunately when you’re online you’ve got a bit more to go on; like a profile for a start. It’s always worth reading the profile before sending a message for several reasons:
1. It will help you decide whether or not you actually want to meet that person
2. You’ll look pretty stupid if you turn up armed with rope and a bull-gag only to discover your potential f-buddy isn’t in to S&M, which was on the profile you didn’t read, dumbass.
3. You meet up with someone only to discover that they live miles away because hey, guess what genius? You didn’t read the profile.
4. Reading the profile first will also give you an idea over what to say in your opening line. Clever eh?
Make sure you can spell
Correct spelling is sexy. Nothing kills flirting dead then reading a message that looks like it’s been written by a 5 year old with a lisp. Do yourself a favour, dust off the dictionary and make sure you can construct a sentence that actually makes sense.
Maybe start with a question
If you’re stuck for something to say, this is when reading the profile can save your bacon as you can use it as a jumping off point for a question. So, if they say they’re into spanking, you could open by saying “With or without a paddle?” Not wholly original, but you get the idea.
Think outside of the box
I hate this phrase…mostly because it is actually very true. People (women especially), will repeatedly get the same types of message and it’s very boring reading things like “Wow you’re so hot!” over and over again. The online dating first email is your ticket to a great date or another night in with a bottle of wine and/or a bottle of hand cream.
Don’t write an epic
As clever as you think you may sound, telling someone about years 0-15 of your life isn’t going to win you an Oscar, let alone a reply from your potential date. Keep it brief, keep it fun and keep it flirty!
If you can, say something funny
Nothing provokes a response like a good chuckle. If you can make someone laugh in your first message then you’ve baited, hooked and have only to reel in.
Okay, so now you’ve got a few pointers to get you started. Before I go, I’ll leave you with some examples of the best and worst first messages sent via online dating sites. All the best examples got responses and dates. All the worst examples got ignored.
It should give you more of an idea over what to do and what not to do.
Enjoy, have fun and remember; be clever!
SUCCESS
In her profile, she had written that she’s 5.11 and will not date anyone shorter then her
His opening line:
“I’m an inch taller then you, but you’d probably f**k me over the moment you stepped into a pair of high heels”
Her response:
“Ha Ha! It’s a good thing I don’t wear stilettos that often then! You sound like fun. How’s it going?”
In her profile, she had written that she ‘loves travelling and seeing new places
His opening line:
“When you say you love travelling, you really mean you like to go on holiday a lot don’t you?”
Her response:
“ You rumbled me! Ha ha ha! No seriously I do like to travel. With a rucksack and everything. I’m not just a beach babe.”
FAIL
In her profile, she had written that she is a divorced mother of one looking to date and have some fun
His opening line:
“hey i know i am young but you are hot and i have always wanted to f**k a milf so if you are interested hit me up…i apologize if you aren’t that type of person but if you are then great!”
Her response:
None
In her profile, she had written that she works for Yahoo News
His opening line:
“Sorry –I know this is a really bizarre question, but do you think you could give me a shout if any editorial positions are available at Yahoo?”
Her response:
None
In her profile, she had written that she works as a pharmacist
His opening line:
“I don’t feel well.”
Her response:
“Go see a doctor then.”
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