No strings attached.
At some point in our lives, that is the ultimate sexual fantasy. It can be, and is a reality in many of our lives and as long as you play safely and understand the rules, easier to do then you think.
What is a friend with benefits?
It’s quite simple really; a friend with benefits is someone you like and get on with and who you can also have a sexual relationship with no strings attached.
That’s it.
How do I know if this is right for me?
That’s a more complicated question but the answers are fairly straightforward. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, want to have sex on a regular basis, but would prefer to do it with someone you like rather then a complete stranger, then getting a friend with benefits may suit you.
If that’s still a bit unclear then try following this brief guide on how to get a friend with benefits. It should help clarify the differences as well as the advantages of having this kind of relationship.
1. Find someone you like
It sounds so simple…and it is! Sex with someone you like is always going to be 10 times better then sex with someone you’re not that into. If you know someone who you like and are attracted to then they are the first person to approach.
2. Sound them out and joke about making out with them
It’s no use hoping for a sexual relationship with someone if they’re not interested. Have a flirt and laugh when talking with your friend to see if there’s any spark. Make jokes about making out with them – it will plant the idea in their head and help you to find out if they see you more as a ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ or as someone they like and can have a lot of fun with.
3. Communicate
The importance of this can never be underestimated. So many misunderstandings and arguments arise from poor communication. Unless you talk with your friend about things, you will never know. Text and chat messages are a great way to find out if your friend is interested in pursuing a FWB relationship but has the added benefit of you playing it off as a joke if they’re not.
4. Meet up and make out
If you’ve gotten on well chatting to your friend online or in person, then arrange a safe place and time for you both to meet up and have some fun. Make out and see if there are as many sparks as there have been when chatting. If there are, then you can take the encounter on. If there aren’t, then no harm done.
5. Set the ground rules mutually and make them clear from the start
This is supposed to be harmless fun with someone you like. Make sure you are both happy with the parameters of the friendship from the start. If one party starts asking for things outside of what was agreed, then you might want to look for someone else. Setting and being mutually comfortable with the ground rules from the start avoids any upset or anger later on.
6. Do not have expectations
It sounds a bit obvious, but the whole point of a friend with benefits is that you’re not looking for something serious. If you are then this is not the way for you. You can end up hurting yourself and your friend and that is no good for either party. Go in with no expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised by what comes out.
Beneficial for Both Parties
What’s so interesting about this method is that as long as you establish rules very early on, then you can enjoy a healthy and positive relationship with none of the complicated emotional ties that come with a romantic relationship. Things like jealousy, anger and paranoia can be instantly eliminated.
These simple rules will help you find the right friend from the get-go. You may find that you add more or less rules as friendships develop, but following this simple guide provides the blueprint for finding that ideal friend...with added benefits.
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