F-Buddy.com - finding the perfect partner

It is not what you are like, it is what you like that matters when finding a fuck buddy

EdBennett — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 23:42:03 +0000

30 Jul 2022 - 00:42 | Tags: finding the perfect partner, how to get a hot date, how to be the perfect fuck buddy

When it comes to the art of seduction and forming connections with members of the preferred sex in order to, well, have sex with them, we often say it is about who you are. When two people come together, whether that is because they want to be friends, friends with benefits, fuck buddies or they are just looking to hook up for the night, everyone is looking for that “spark”. The “spark” that we are looking for is seen to be about who we are. As magnesium explodes when put into water, so we think that when we meet someone that does the spark for us it is an uncontrollable, unpredictable and explosive reaction that has everything to do with who they and we are as people. This is commonly accepted wisdom. When we speak to people that have established relationships, which could be both standard relationships but also adult relationships such as a long-term fuck buddy, if asked why they are with the other person they will often say something to the equivalent of “I like them”. I like who they are, how they are or what they are. I am here to challenge this. I put it to you that it is not what you are like, but what you like that matters.

When finding a fuck buddy and hooking up for the first time, you sit and you chat. You may not talk that much, you may not want to talk that much, but some level of communication is usually inevitable. As you talk, you think you are getting to know who the other person is and this is what matters in regards to the connection. You are only partly right. Yes, you are getting to know who they are, but in terms of the connection what matters is not what you are like, but what you like. When you talk, do you have a common background, a shared understanding, a language that you can both use that perhaps other people don’t? When I describe language, I am not necessarily speaking about an actual language like Spanish or French though this can work as well. I mean can you talk about the same things? For example, say you are both into Sci-Fi, you can talk about star trek or star wars – you chare the language of that world… and this is what bonds and brings us together. From there you feel connected and understood, you feel seen, and that is when you sleep with each other.

So yes it matter who you are, but it matters more what you like than what you are like when you are hooking up with someone.

Finding the perfect sex partner takes time, but is worth the effort

EdBennett — Wed, 04 Jul 2018 13:28:11 +0000

4 Jul 2018 - 14:28 | Tags: how to be the perfect fuck buddy, finding the perfect partner

Every person has an ideal sex partner. For some people that is someone that they are in a full-time relationship with, for others it is a non-monogamous set up and takes the form of finding a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits. We are all different, so what we want out of that person also varies hugely. Some of us want someone to lead and be dominating, others want someone to dominate. Some of us want someone very vanilla, someone with little imagination that likes routine and enjoys things when they are simple and without complication. Then there are the drama seekers of the world, people who need things to be spicy, rocky, and constantly in flux. They need the drama, they seek the excitement and enjoyment that comes from the instability. These people at this extreme are usually only into short term relationships, they want the excitement that meeting someone new brings, and they are unable to move things onto the next stage of life where things become more routine.

There should be no judgement on what type of person you are when it comes to sex, for truly, it matters not. The key is finding that person with whom you can share that which you desire. It is not about finding someone the same as you, but about finding the person that wants to be the balancing factor to you, the yin to your yang. If you are dominating, finding someone that wants to be dominated is giving them the gift of the person that they have always been looking for. You are giving them the same thing that they are giving you, the perfect fuck buddy.

It takes time and effort to find the perfect sex partner. When you first meet people you simply may not get on, if you do often you may not be attracted to each other. If you are attracted to each other you may not be sexually compatible, and if you are compatible are you really right for each other? Are you ready and willing to take each other to the depths of passion that you both deserve? It is rare that you find this in the first person that you sleep with, though it is entirely possible. Often you have to meet many people before you find the fuck buddy that really makes you want to come more than anyone you have met before. It is well worth the time and effort though, because once you have them, you will get to “have” them as much as your appetite demands, because they will want to be “had” just as much as you do.