F-Buddy.com - getting over an exgirlfriend

If you want to find a fuck buddy, you have to bounce back

EdBennett — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 00:30:21 +0000

31 Jan 2023 - 00:30 | Tags: getting over an exgirlfriend, how to deal with sexual rejection

Rejection. This is something that is really hard to accept. No matter what area in life we experience rejection, when we do, it is always hard. Going for a job we really want and then being told they are giving it to someone else can really hurt. Asking a friend to come to your party / dinner / event and they say no because they are going to something else already can sting. Seeing if your family want to come and help you with something but they say they cannot because they have the kids that weekend, even this is a rejection (as understandable as it is). All of this has one thing in common, ultimately you are getting rejected whilst someone else is not. The employer that didn’t give you the job did give it to someone else. The friend who isn’t spending time with you is choosing to spend their time with another friend over spending time with you. The family member, as much as we logically know that spending time with their kids is completely normal and reasonable, is still prioritising another human over you. This is part of the foundational reason that rejection is so hard to handle sometimes. You are getting rejected, but someone else isn’t. So what makes them so much better than you that they get chosen over you!? This has never been more apt than when you are reject in favour of another lover. It questions your existence as a desirable human being. What exactly is it that the other fuck buddy had that you did not?! You have to learn to bounce back from this.

Why you have to bounce back quickly

Time and your life only moves in one direction (and I am not referring to the band). The longer you spend getting over the rejection, the longer it takes for you to get back out there and meet people… and to some degree it is a numbers game. You have to meet a certain amount of people to find someone where there is chemistry, so the sooner you bounce, the quicker you are back in the game.

Understand most of the time it is not you!

This is a tricky one, but understand it is not you most of the time. It is how they are wired, the environmental conditions of their life, what they have been conditioned into believing. All of this happened in the decades before you met, so it has nothing to do with you.

The “other” person did not beat you, they are inconsequential

Finally, the “other” person that got to sleep with the fuck buddy you wanted did not beat you. They are not better (or worse) than you, they are just a different flavour of person. That is all it is.

So, try and bounce fast. It is not you, it is them.

Better to find a new fuck buddy than chase the old one

EdBennett — Sun, 25 Jul 2021 22:45:53 +0000

25 Jul 2021 - 23:45 | Tags: getting over an exgirlfriend, find a fuck buddy

I am about to talk about something that we have all been through. If you haven’t been through it yet, you will. This is a sensitive topic so I want to make clear from the outset that everyone has different needs, and there will be a very small number of people that do not need to take this advice… but those people are the 1%. For the rest of the 99%, this is for you.

At some point, we have all been “dumped” but a fuck buddy (or will get dumped in the future). By this, I mean that your fuck buddy decides that they would rather have sex with someone else and they end the tryst with you. Many times, this is fine. The agreement was always a relaxed no strings attached set-up. You always knew that one of you would move on, you likely thought you would do it before they did, but it doesn’t really matter who got there first. So you move on and you are all good. Once in your life though, you will not be happy with the outcome.

Everyone has one fuck buddy where you were so into them, that when it ends, it feels like a more traditional relationship. You feel like you have been dumped. When this happens it can get really bad. You want to chase them, you want to get them back, but you were also in a relationship where the agreement was no strings attached, so you are not allowed to. You were dating in the adult dating world and for one time, you want it to be different. Maybe you don’t want to “date” them, but you were certainly not ready to stop having sex with them. Your gut is to chase. I am here to tell you no. Do not do it. Here is why.

When they decided to end it, they had their reasons. The bottom line is that they just didn’t like you enough, and the chance of changing their mind is astronomical. You would have to demonstrate a huge personality change to make them re-evaluate. You would have to change jobs, change your look, buy a motorbike… it is a huge amount of effort, and even then, the chances are it will not work. Do you know what is much more likely to work out? Find someone else! Once you are in the arms of another, you are no longer going to care about the previous fuck buddy. You will have moved on… but this cannot happen until you have slept with someone else.

So if you are feeling down about losing a fuck buddy, do something about it. Find someone else to sleep with. In a very short space of time, you will have moved on, and under no circumstances should you attempt to get your previous one back. Do your future self a favour… let it go.

The art of moving on: Your ex girlfriend lied

EdBennett — Sat, 20 May 2017 15:00:16 +0000

20 May 2017 - 16:00 | Tags: getting laid, getting over an exgirlfriend, fuck

Whether we want to or not, eventually if we are sleeping with someone, we will become to have feelings for them and attachments. Having sex was traditionally called “being intimate” – and being intimate with someone develops exactly that, it grows intimacy. You begin to come together as people, and as that closeness grows there are many positive things that come from it. You begin to care about each other, you begin to make efforts to be nicer to each other, you get to know each other more and more – and from that everything gets better. The way you are with each other, the way you joke with each other, even the sex gets better as you learn each other’s bodies and what your preferences are.

Eventually often you end up “going out” and often that also ends. When you are no longer with your ex girlfriend, it can be really hard to move on. You can find yourself missing the intimacy, the closeness, the care that you shared. So how can you really move on?

Crush all hope

The hope that you may get back together is something that will hold you back. You want to be back together, and as much as you might logically know that it is not going to happen, it doesn’t stop you hoping, and it is the hope that will hope you back. Know that she is having sex with other people. Accept fully that she is fucking other guys (or girls) and that she is loving it. They are making her scream with delight and come as hard as she did with you, and in those moments she is not thinking of you, she is thinking of them. Let go of hope, and hope will let you move on.

Everything she said was a lie

She meant it in the moment, and giving her the benefit of the doubt for a moment she probably didn’t even know that she was lieing at the time, but she was. She is not staying faithful, she does not love you, and anything she promised is now off the cards. All bets are off. This is key.

Finally – accept that moving on does not undermine anything you promised / said

Many people have trouble moving on because it can feel like a betrayal of any promises that you made, anything that you said. Know that you meant them at the time, but now that things have changed you can let it go without betraying yourself. This is often the final step.

Get laid

The best way of getting over it fast? Get laid. Sleep with someone else, it is one of the most helpful things that you can do for yourself.