Having a fuck buddy when you are married

EdBennett — Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:34:03 +0000

When people get married they promise all sorts of things, and they intend to keep all of them. They promise to love and hold each other, they promise to be there for each other in both the good and the bad times. They promise to be married and hold to these vows for the rest of their life… and at the time of making these promises that usually mean them. Things do change, however, and being flexible to life’s changes is an important thing to thrive and be happy. There is a stream of people that find themselves still wanting to be with their married partner, but also desire sex with other people. In this article, I am going to talk about some of the ways that people approach this issue and the benefits and detriments to each of these choices.

People suppress their desires

Some people simply suppress their desires. They want a fuck buddy, but they either lack the emotional intelligence to have one, or they are too scared to take any action that might threaten their current life. The benefit to this is that nothing changes… however, even this is not true. By suppressing your desires you are crushing your authentic self. This is going to damage who you are in the marriage and potentially make you a less desirable mate. Self-suppression is never a good thing. Whilst this is a popular choice, I think that it is a poor one and the pressure of lying to yourself about what you want can often destroy your current relationship.

Cheat on the person

If you want a fuck buddy who is discrete, you can likely find them. There are plenty of people in this world who are also looking for a fuck buddy to cheat on their partner with, so you can likely find them. The benefits of this are that you get to explore sleeping with other people whilst maintaining your marriage, as long as you don’t get caught. The danger is getting caught! Like the option above, you are lying to your partner and again this is a dangerous thing for you as well as them.

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

The New York Times had an excellent article recently about someone telling their fiancé about their new girlfriend. The outcome from the story is that openness really served them both well. They loved each other, they were committed to each other, but they did not wish for a life of sex with the other person and no one else. So they kept true and honest to each other whilst still seeing other people. There are enough people out there who manage to make this work to show that this is more than just luck or an exception that proves the rules. You can make it work, though there is a risk.

Personally, I would always advise honesty. There is always a risk in life, being honest is the only way to give yourself the best chance of a happy outcome in the long term.

Set sex goals to make them happen

EdBennett — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 19:27:48 +0000

20 Feb 2017 - 19:27 | Tags: getting laid, having more sex

We all have goals and drives in life – things that we want to do! Some of those things are childhood fancies that naturally get dropped with the passing of time, for example the classic “when I grow up I want to be an astronaut”. How many of us said that? Well the reality is that many of things that you would have loved to do, in practice it is impossible. “I want to be a ballet dancer” says the 13 year old girl in the sweetest voice – the reality is “sorry luv, you are way past it! Never going to make it now you are old!”. If you wanted to be a professional ballet dancer, you really needed to start training years earlier! However, not all dreams need to remain dreams, some of them you can manifest and realise – all you have to do is make them a fixed goal and they can happen!

The way goal setting works is that you decide what you actually want. It has to be tangible and specific, and you need a why. So the classic “I want more money” gets you nowhere. However lets re write that:

Specific: I want to make £100,000 a year
Why: So that I can buy my dream home in London and pay off the mortgage within 10 years.

The more specific you can be, the more likely it is to happen, the more you naturally look for opportunities to make it happen. So people do this for other parts of their life, why not do it for sex?

If you know what you want, and you can be specific about it, then you can achieve it. You just need to set it as a goal. So for example say you have always wanted to have a threesome secretly.... but you currently presume that this is something that is not possible, so you don’t even try and make it happen. You miss 100% of the shots that you do not take. Set it as a goal:

Specific: I would like to have a threesome with me and 2 other girls, at least one of whom should be a blonde
Why: It is my uppermost sexual fantasy – if I can do it when I die I will be able to die that little bit happier
If you set it as an actual goal, you have a chance of making it happen. In this case, there are girls out there who also want to have a threesome – all you have to do is find these girls and then it will happen.

So set some sex goals, and then make them happen.

F-Buddy.com - having more sex

Having a fuck buddy when you are married

People suppress their desires

Cheat on the person

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

Set sex goals to make them happen