F-Buddy.com - being alpha

Over investing can cause you to lose your woman

EdBennett — Mon, 12 Dec 2016 18:07:32 +0000

12 Dec 2016 - 18:07 | Tags: how to keep your woman, maintaining a fuck buddy, being alpha

You meet

One day you meet someone. Perhaps you meet them through work, maybe you meet them whilst on a train or a bus. Lots of people are meeting people online, through dating sites or more progressive websites like f-buddy. It doesn’t matter how you find someone, but let’s say you find a woman.

Things Progress

Things move along nicely. At a speed that is comfortable to you, you hug, then kiss, then you are fucking her. The sex starts off as okay (as it usually does with a new person) but then this quickly progress’s along to being good, then before you know it you are having great sex. There are other surprising elements to this woman as well. She is nice to you. Not only does she want you to flip her on her front, grab her by the hips and fuck her hard from behind, but afterwards she is nice to you. She talks, she listens, and you end up doing things outside of the bedroom together. Food, the occasional film. She really likes you, and despite your usual aloof “don’t give a fuck” attitude with women when you know that it is really just a fuck buddy, you start to really like her back.

You over invest

You start to do things for her. You think about things she might need from the shops and pick them up. You start to spend your money on her in ways that are other than buying condoms and lubricant. You start to change your plans for her, and choose to spend time with her over other people. In short, you start to really invest in her.

She senses it – and pulls back

She can sense that you are starting to like her a lot. She can see your actions, and to begin with she likes it... but then she starts to question your value as a man. As long as you were aloof, she saw you as better than her, your withheld attitude made her feel like you were above her league and so she fancied you more for it. Now that you are at a level, she starts to withdraw a little.

You react to this by investing even more

You see her liking you less, so to make her like you more you start to do even more for her. You buy her dinner, presents, even flowers. You push hard to make yourself nice to her.

The more you push the more she retreats

The more you push hard, the more you actually push her away. She fancied you because she was investing more in you than you in her. Now that this is the other way around her attraction to you fades then is gone completely.

She leaves and you are wrong about the reasons

You think she leaves because you didn’t buy her flowers early enough, because you didn’t do more to make her feel good. No. You are wrong. She left exactly because you did those things in the first place. You were a chode, and that is not who she wanted to be with.

Learn from this. If you over invest, if you put mush more in that the other person, you are guaranteeing that this coupling will end. Fact.

Tell yourself you are a Sex god - and you will be

EdBennett — Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:38:11 +0000

18 Nov 2016 - 12:38 | Tags: be a sex god, being alpha, being great at sex

There are lots of things that you need to do in order to be great in bed. Staying generally fit and healthy is a foundation stone of this that means getting some exercise and eating reasonably healthy foods. I am not telling you that you have to stop drinking or being fun in any way, just try and make sure that you get some vitamins into your system now and then, and don’t eat too much sugar that’s a real body killer. What would you prefer? A chocolate bar or great sex? Well that’s the choice you get to make!

Nerves are a killer

Nervousness can be a real turn off. It makes you come across as unsure, as weak, and no one wants to sleep with someone that is weak. Conversely confidence can come across as a real turn on. Being confident can make someone like you more, make them want you more than before. It also means that your movements are sure, steady and strong. This has an effect in two ways:

You body language automatically tells the other person that they chose correctly, that you are the awesome attractive guy that they want to be having sex with. This means that you are more likely to sleep with them.
When you are sleeping with them, your movements are strong and confident. This means that you are by definition going to be better in the sack. You are going to be better in bed because of this. You are going to be a sex god – because you believe that you are a sex god!

It is a self fulfilling prophesy

This is a completely self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are a sex god, you will act like a sex god. You will be strong, confident and the other person will respond to this, be more turned on as a result and thus have a better sex life with you. You just have to believe it, and it becomes true.

Fake it till you make it

I know this is a hard thing to roll with, especially if you do not believe that you are a sex god. I mean who is, right? Well the way forward is to fake it till you make it. Girls “fake it” all the time with orgasms and coming, so as a guy why not fake the attitude.

Once you see the results you won’t have to fake it anymore, because it will be true. You will be a sex god!

Make decisions – its sexy

EdBennett — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 12:25:47 +0000

12 Nov 2016 - 12:25 | Tags: being sexy, how to be hot, being alpha

As a man – and yes I am specifically talking to all the gentlemen out there who are reading this blog – to stay sexy it is important to be make decisions. It doesn’t even matter if those decisions are good or bad for the most part, most decisions you make in life actually really don’t matter in the bigger picture. The important thing to do is to make them. Allow me to explain.

Why Make Decisions

Making decisions is sexy. That is the main reason. You want to maintain a level of attraction between you and your partner? Of course you do. You want her to want to jump your bones 24/7. You want her to think you are the bees knees, for her to go weak at the knees at the sight of you, to want you body and soul... because when someone wants you that badly, everything else can be over come. No amount of distance, financial difference, and environmental issues – nothing can mess up your relationship. Also – the sex is amazing, I mean really amazing. One of the easy ways of remaining sexy? Make decisions.

Why making decisions is sexy

When you make a decision, you are effectively taking responsibility for the outcome. You accept that what happens next is down to you and you alone, because you made the decision. It takes a level of strength and confidence to do this, it requires good self esteem and a willingness to put yourself out there. In short – it takes strength, and so every time a decision is made it shows strength, which is sexy as hell.

Does it have to be a big decision?

This is the best part – no! Any decision shows strength. Choosing what you are going to eat of the menu shows strength, what to order at the bar, where to sit down. It all shows confidence and strength. The funny thing is, that most of these decisions also make no difference to the outcome! Whether you sit on one seat or another doesn’t change the conversation or the company. Whether you decide to have the chocolate brownie or the ice cream for desert – you will never know what the other one tastes like anyway so you can’t actually regret it. MOST of the decisions you make are small ones – so make them!

So start making decisions – you will be seen to be sexier for it. Don’t take my word for it! Try it and find out for yourself.

Don’t fear the invisible sword of being dumped, for you sharpen it

EdBennett — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 20:18:38 +0000

12 Aug 2016 - 21:18 | Tags: being alpha, breaking up, being attractive

Fear is part of life. We all fear things, and that is no bad things for fear can serve us well. It is the thing that keeps us alive, and stops us from doing something that gets us killed. When we are young it is the fear of being burned that keeps us safe from fire, the fear of the pain from falling that stops us jumping from the top of high things, the fear of getting lost that keeps us near our parents and stops us from, well, getting lost! It is a useful emotion, which is why we have it. However in modern day life when we no longer have survival as our primary problem, fear can get in the way big time. Let’s get straight to it and look at it from a relationship point of view.

Once you have someone, whether a fuck buddy or a long term relationship, there is the possibility of being dumped. This is quite a likely possibility as eventually most relationships end. If you are not that into them, or it is early days, this fear is small because the stakes are small. You really haven’t invested that much into the relationship, you have only had a sex a few times if at all, there is no great loss if it ends. As time goes on, the more you come to like the other person whether for their witty conversation or their tight body, the higher the stakes gets and the less you want to separate. This in turn starts to breed the fear of that loss. If you are breaking up with them that is a different thing, as it is on your terms, but the fear of them ending things with you grows proportionally to the amount that you like them. The problem is this is a self fulfilling prophesy.

The fear of the invisible sword hanging over your head that is ready to sever the ties between you changes how you act. The brain thinks that it is helping you – like the way it stopped you from getting burned or jumping off a cliff... but the opposite is true. You start to be conflict averse, because the argument could lead to a ending... which means you start caving on things that worsen the relationship. You start apologising about things that are not your fault, which leads to false feedback and your partner to continue to make fuck ups You stop making strong decisions in an effort to please her/him – which end in no one being happy. Ultimately you compromise on who you are, which leads to you ceasing to be the person that they fancied to begin with, which dooms the partnership.

Don’t fear the sword of break up, for it will condemn you to its use. Now if I could only fully embrace my own advice on this my life would be so much better! Good luck you crazy cats.

Always check in with your sex partner

EdBennett — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 19:40:25 +0000

21 Apr 2016 - 20:40 | Tags: sex tips, better sex guide, being alpha

We all want to be having amazing sex, let’s start out right by agreeing this. We are all on the same page, and when 2 people come together to have sex (or sometimes more than two people!) they both have the same *shared* outcome – a desire to come hard, a desire for amazing sex. So given that they both want the same thing, they are both in the right place to be helping both themselves and the other person achieve what they want. This means that if asked for help, they *will* help. That is an important place to start this article, because we are going to be asking you to talk to your sexual partner in order to improve your sex life here.

So you have just met someone and it is early days. You are trying to work out what they like and they don’t like, what is turning them on and what is a bucket of water. The easiest way to do this? Check in with them. You can get a lot of clues by listening to their body and how it responds to your touch, but you can get the clearest answers by listening to their words. Check in with them, ask them if what you are doing is good, and they will surely tell you – and be grateful that you asked!

So you have been together for some time, you have been through the basic routines, and you are thinking about mixing it up, trying something new or different. Just because you know what they already like, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do something new and different – quite the opposite. You are a bit unsure if it is a good idea, if they will like it... check in with them! Just as you are doing it, ask, and you will receive.

So you have now been with the same person for a couple of years. You have really felt each other out in terms of sex (by feeling each other up!) and you know what s/he likes. You *know* it... well guess what. Things change, and what worked two years ago may not now, so check in with your partner. If you want to have continuous long term amazing sex you have to be checking in for your whole sex life – or your sex life will die a death.
So, be sure to talk to your partner, don’t get complacent and don’t allow routine to kill what could be a great sex life. Instead, a simple check in can keep it all alive.

Always have stuff going on in your life

EdBennett — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 18:34:41 +0000

12 Apr 2016 - 19:34 | Tags: keeping your fuck buddy, being alpha, great sex

Sex is amazing. Even bad sex can be good! Good sex is great, and great sex can blow your mind! I mean literally. Science has graphed out the chemical reactions that take place in the brain at the point of orgasm, and the results are quite literally mind blowing.

Sex is so great that the pursuit of it can become all consuming, and the point of getting it, the times in your life where you have it on tap, understandably it can over turn your life. You can easily find yourself spending your time having sex, and doing very little else! Why would you go out on lavish dates when you can just go home instead and have sex. Why bother hanging out with you mates when you can hang out with your sexual mate instead. Why spend time with your family – I mean you want to but you are just too busy having sex. I could go on but there is no need – you get the idea I am sure. So if sex is so great, why bother doing those other things you ask? Because the two are connected.

Great sex comes from the energy of the two people coming together and fancying the pants off each other – I mean that quite literally. The more that they find the other person attractive, the better the sex is. A lot of it comes down to how much you want it, and you want to keep that to as high a level as possible. You want the buying temperature to be super hot!! So how can you do this? Have other stuff going on in your life. Have options.

If you are the cool guy that has friends he hangs out with, people he does cool stuff with, things going on that easily fill his time, it is a really flattering thing when you then choose to spend some of your time with the girl. It is quality time. On the other hand, if you don’t have anything going on in your life, if you drop the ball on your friends and your family, if you let your hobbies and pastimes lapse into disuse, then you are being with her because you have nothing better to do. That is a whole lot less flattering!

You also want to remain the attractive man that she first chose to sleep with. The man that she first had sex with *did* have all these things happening. So if you drop down from whatever level of “life” you had when you first dated, then you cease to be the same sexy thing that deserves to have your plaything.

Maintain a life outside of your sexual partner. It is the best way to keep your sexual partner.