F-Buddy.com - sex advice

Sex advice from a sex therapist (part 2)

EdBennett — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 23:16:24 +0000

31 Dec 2021 - 23:16 | Tags: f-buddy advice, sex advice

Welcome to the fuck buddy website, the place where we help you meet other like-minded individuals for some casual fun. We understand that there is nothing wrong with hooking up or having a no strings attached relationship. Sex is a healthy part of life and is nothing to be ashamed of. This is something that most sex therapists, and one sex therapist in particular, agrees with. If you want to have a better sex life we thought that the best way to do this would be to take advice from an expert. There is a lot of great advice out there on the internet of course, and a lot of it is very good. However, as we mentioned in our first article covering sex advice from a sex therapist, you wouldn’t watch a video on surgery and then try it out on yourself, you would always take advice from a professional. We think that the same applies to sex. If you want to get really good at sex, why not take some advice from someone who has spent years of their life studying and examining sex and its function within the lives of individuals in order to better your own sex life? Your fuck buddy will thank you for it, trust me! So with that in mind, here are three further top tips from a sex therapist. These are tips that the therapist themselves follow.

Quality not quantity – the amount of sex is unrelated to whether your sex life is “good” or “bad”.

The sex therapist stated that many people think that because they are having less sex than others (or than they used to) their sex life is “bad”. This is simply not true. Firstly, different people like to have different amounts of sex. This also changes with time and what else is going on in your life. If you are really stressed and pressured at work, you may not have the same amount of time and energy for sex, so you will have sex. This does not mean that your sex life is “bad” it is just at a different stage. The advice, accept that there are times you and your fuck buddy will want sex, and times you will not. Simple.

Your desires will change over time

We all change over time. Things we used to like fade; things we were uninterested in become interesting. The same is true with your sex life. Do not feel trapped into liking things a certain way just because that is how things used to be. Allow yourself to be mindful of your feelings and change with them. Your fuck buddy will likely be the same so will appreciate you being open to change.

Try the Sensate Focus technique

This is not about having sex, but rather it is about exploring each other’s bodies. It can lead to great intimacy and better sex and is a top recommendation from the therapist. I will leave the details for another article.

So, these are the top three tips. Have fun!

Sex advice from a sex therapist (part 1)

EdBennett — Sun, 28 Nov 2021 15:08:53 +0000

28 Nov 2021 - 15:08 | Tags: f-buddy advice, sex advice

If we want to get better at something, listening to the professionals is always a good idea. Rather than trying to work something out ourselves, going to someone who has spent years (or even decades) thinking about that subject and taking their advice on it is always a good idea. If you needed surgery, you wouldn’t watch a YouTube video on how to do it then give it a go! You would go to a professional. So when it comes to sex, I am always surprised that people are often hesitant to go and speak to professionals about how to improve their sex life. Most people who have a fuck buddy or a friends with benefits wants to be having better sex. A good sex life can be a stabilising force that carries us through both the good and the bad times, so it is important to spend time on it.

I understand that a lot of people would not want to go and see a sex therapist, especially if there is nothing specifically wrong that galvanises them to take action to improve their sex life with their fuck buddy. So, to help out, in this article I have laid out some of the top tips that a sex therapist would want you to know. To give you confidence, these are all things that the relevant therapist also does herself, so she gives the advice that she has also tested in the field!

Never kink and fetish shame

You want to have a trusting space between you and your fuck buddy, one where either of you can say anything. Even a hint of kink shaming can ruin this. If your fuck buddy is brave and bold enough to share something that they are interested in, reward that. If it is not something you are comfortable with, you should not feel forced into carry out the fantasy, but never shame it. This will provide a space where both of you can share your sex thoughts with each other, ultimately leading to better sex for both of you.

Share what turns you on

Be brave and go first. Once you share what turns you on, your fuck buddy will likely do the same. Once you both know what does and doesn’t work for each other, you are in the perfect position to be each other’s sex slaves!

Do not be shy when it comes to sex toys or sex enhancers

The twenty first century has brought with it a plethora of sex toys, sex enhancers and other sex advances. Embrace that for a better sex life. Some people, particularly men, do not like the idea of sex toys as they see it as a comparison to their “ability”. This is not the case. Think of it as using a computer instead of a type writer as a tool to enhance your expression. Embrace it, and it will reward you.

How to be better in bed

EdBennett — Wed, 22 May 2019 16:50:42 +0000

22 May 2019 - 17:50 | Tags: how to have better sex, sex advice

Welcome to the fuck buddy website. If you are reading this it is because you have already found your fuck buddy through us and are now using our top tips, or because you are looking for a fuck buddy and noticed this article whilst you were here. Whether you have one or not, if you are making an effort to get a fuck buddy victory is inevitable! It can be a numbers game, so the more you do, the closer you get to finding that friends with benefits relationship that you are looking for.

Whether you have your fuck buddy or you are going to find one, being better in bed was always a good thing! It encourages women to come back to you, and you have a lot more fun when sex is going great! So to help you out, here are some of my top tips on how to be better in bed!

Mix it up

If you are having sex with the same person multiple times, then the sex can become a little routine. You can find yourself not being in the moment as much, not enjoying it as much, just not being as into it as much. Sure it is fun, but it seems to lack the same intensity that it used to have. Well there is an easy fix for this. Mix it up. Changing even small things can be enough to jolt you out of the mental routine that is reducing how in the moment you are, and thus how good you are in bed. Try changing the sexual position that you use, or your sex habits. Introduce a new toy or new clothing. Even changing the location or even just the music or soundtrack that you have sex to can help to alter things. Mix it up!

Changing locations

This is such a big topic that it needs an entire article, but take your fuck buddy somewhere else to have sex. This could still be in the house, it could be as simple as having sex on the floor rather than on the bed, or it could be much more adventurous like having sex in a lift, outside, or at work! This extra boost can make you better in bed as the environmental changes makes the sex better for both of you.

Make love not war

There are times when you fuck someone. With a fuck buddy this is especially common. Sometimes though, you can make love instead. You do not have to be 100% in love with the person, it is about tapping into how you feel about them and focusing on why you like them. Let this drive the sex and the sex will have a whole new flavour and feel. Give it a try!

Routines without variation kills us

EdBennett — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 08:24:07 +0000

30 Jun 2017 - 09:24 | Tags: sex advice, keeping your fuck buddy, keeping sex good

After a certain amount of living, you will hit a routine, and there is nothing wrong with this, however sexual routine can really kill your sex life, and I would like to talk about what causes this lack of sexual excitement and how to avoid it if it hasn’t happened, and how to fix it if it has.

Routines without variation kills us

We all hit routines in our lives, and there is nothing wrong with routines in a basic sense. Routines are good, they allow us to do things efficiently without having to think about them too much, and the more we do a routine the slicker and smoother it gets, the more we do it efficiently and to better effect. Routines are great – and they help our lives. Routines can also be the fun killer.

When we get too set in our routines, we start to lose an ability to step out of that routine – and stepping out is where we are most alive. The routines of the same thing every day all blur into one till we cannot tell one day from another, and so the days we really remember, the days that we look back on with fond memories are usually days that we break from those routines, the days were we do something different. Usually because it is different, we also use the word exciting to also describe those days. We see friends and we say: “Oh! Do you remember when so and so did such and such? So funny!” We are always referring to when something is different, when something has been done that is outside of the usual routine or pattern. It is the break from routine, the norm, that really helps us to live.

With sex, just a pinch of change is all it needs

With a job you might be talking about doing something really big to alter your routine, like completely moving company! When it comes to sex, you only have to change a very small thing for this to make a difference. If you usually just have sex after going to the pub, go somewhere else instead. If you always go out before, stay in, and if you are always at home, go out. If you always have sex in the bedroom, do it in the kitchen, if on the bed, try the floor! If you are usually on top, try being on the bottom for once! If they normally instigate it, try taking control of the reigns and being in the driving seat for once! It really doesn’t matter what you change, just change something.

Start with something fun!

Is there something that you have always wanted to do in the bedroom? Or something that you think would be fun? Or even just something you quite like the idea of doing that you can do before sex even if it has nothing to do with the sex? Sometimes it is as simple as “do you remember that time we went out to that XXX gig and loved it?” “Oh yeah! Then you put me against the wall and nailed me so hard! How could I forget that night?”

Start small

If you are unsure start small. If you are lacking in inspiration as a few friends about some of their best nights of sex and see what they did before or during that you might like to try.

Avoid routine – just do something different, you will reap the benefits just as much as your partner.

Sex in the Bath / Shower

EdBennett — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 10:34:21 +0000

22 Sep 2016 - 11:34 | Tags: sex in the bath, shower sex, sex advice

Having sex outside of the bedroom is an excellent thing to do, and I cannot recommend it enough. When you have sex in a place that is designed for another purpose, the sex becomes automatically more exciting! Even if you plan it in advance it becomes more “spontaneous” feeling – especially for the other person. It can feel “naughty” and even a little taboo depending on where you decide to do it. Everyone likes a little variation, and even though the actual “sex” bit itself could be identical, let’s say you us the same position and mimic the same energy and movement, because it is somewhere different it will still carry a freshness, and newness that will help to make the sex super fun.

So you have considered having sex someone else in the house / flat, and you are now considering doing in the bathroom – specifically in the bath or the shower. Now there are big pros’s and con’s to doing this, so let me take you through them.

Its new and therefore exciting
This is explained fully above, and holds true to the bathroom.

It is warm
Cold can be a real turn off for both the girl and the guy. It reduces libido for most people, and makes it harder to come for most women as it increased muscle tension. The shower or bath brings with it a constant flow of warm water to keep the sex hot hot hot!

Instant clean up!
Be as messy as you like and it really does not matter – it all gets washed instantly!

Soap to keep things smooth!
A little shower gel on the body and suddenly your skin will be sliding over each other’s smoothly and sexily – it feels *really* good! A little shower gel around the balls especially goes a ling way to tickling you into being turned on

The MAIN Con – it removed moisture from where you want it
This is the major problem with sex in the bath, and it is also counter intuitive so allow me to press it home. Soap and shower gel is designed to remove dirt and grease etc. This is great for cleaning your skin, but it also strips away the female fluids that make her vagina so warm and inviting. She will get wet – but all that lubricant will be lost instantly if you are using shower gel or soap. This is the main problem with sex in the bathroom. Watch out for it!

Slip hazard
If things get urgent, be careful not to hurt yourself or your partner on the slipper surface!

Water in your face
Having a stream of water flowing into your face makes it hard to breath and hard to see. It is not very attractive to be spitting water all the time! Watch out fo r this!

So all in all I highly recommend that you give it go, you will really enjoy it! Keep an eye out for the above and you will have a better time of it. Go forth and have sex!

Break the Routine for Better Sex

EdBennett — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 21:39:39 +0000

17 Feb 2016 - 21:39 | Tags: good sex guide, australian sex habits, sex advice

For most of us sex happens in the same places. There may be more than one, but often we cycle between the same settings, and even the same times of day as well. As humans we are creatures of habit, once we learn that something both works for us and i good we tend to stick within those bounds. We all know it, its called our comfort zone. This is not a bad thing by any means. One of the core requirements to reach orgasm is lack of stress, and familiarity brings with it a bucket load of confidence, which can easily help to translate to a really good time in bed!!

That being said, there this can also kill excitement, and exciting sex is really important. The more you sleep with someone the harder it is to create – but fear not! You can always generate exciting sexy time! So where can you start?

Break the location routine:

An easy way of making it exciting is to alter the location. If you are nervous about doing this, you can easily do this by simply changing the room in your house in which you are having sex. By keeping it still in your house you remain partially inside your comfort zone, however a simple change of room can be enough to jolt you both into really waking up and being in the moment. This is really what it is about as well in the foundation – being in the moment.

Once you are comfortable with this, try and think about really different places you can get laid, ideally where you have never done it before. Are you inside? Outside? In a hotel? Away from where you like on a weekend away? At work? Don’t restrict yourself to only thinking conventionally as well. I once had sex inside a cupboard in order to mix things up – and damn that was great! Any change can do it!

Break the time routine:

I put this second because it is the harder one. Alter the time at which you have sex. If you never have it in the morning, then morning sex could be really exciting – especially if you later text the person to remind them that they had slept with you that day already!!! Never had lunchtime sex?! Well I would say that now is the time! Again the important thing is simply that you *change* things.

Break the position routine

The sexual position you use can massively change how much you and she enjoys the session. It is very different for different people. So for some people they really like to be able to look into the other person’s eyes in order to visually connect whilst getting their rocks off. Other people are much more sound based and feeling, so they like it from behind, and nothing turns them on more than the sounds of moaning and groaning that go with an occasional slap on the behind. I know one girl who hasn’t had a truly satisfying sex session unless she is black and blue by the end! We all like different things... and what I am encouraging you to do here is just that. Make it different.
Whatever you are not doing right now, try it. Do a position you have never done before or that you rarely do. Even if it not the “preferred” position, the change will bring with it many advantages of again bringing you back into the moment. That is really the name of the game, being in the moment. If you are struggling for ideas help is at hand! There are countless resources on the internet of different sexual positions, and if you prefer the human touch a bunch of people here on this website ready to give you direct advice. You only have to ask!

Change the mood – change *your* mood

Most of us have a certain mood we are in when we have sex. Try changing this. So if you are usually really happy and smiley then try is serious. If you are serious try it playful. If you are both of those try it intense, even a little angry or demanding. It is important to remember that you are *playing* so if the other person really doesn’t like it stop, take a reset and go back to something more comfortable. If you like telling the person beforehand that you are going to try it differently makes the change a lot safer to play out.
This one can be very powerful indeed. It is a tricky one and requires you to both remember that you are playing around, and to be sensitive to the other person whilst trying it. If you are nervous – get them on board with it. I have a standing agreement with my lady that one day if we have a really intense argument she is allowed to slap me really hard as long as I get to have angry sex with her afterwards. I have no idea how that is going to work out when it happens; the important thing is to be open to trying different things out. You never know what will be fun till you do it.
By the way – did I mention to bear in mind that you are playing ;-)

Experiment and be bold!

This is the best advice I can give you over all. Experiment and be bold with your choices. If you think something would be fun, just try it. Remember, if you are being spontaneous and in the moment, the other person will not be able to help themselves from getting caught up in the moment and coming along for the ride, especially if it is your idea. Everyone loves it when it is the other person’s idea because then they take no responsibility, they get to just relax and enjoy themselves. For you – the best part of taking responsibility is that you get to do the things that you would really like to do.

So be bold, be brave, and mix things up!

Reignite your sex life with memory recall

EdBennett — Fri, 12 Feb 2016 10:00:24 +0000

12 Feb 2016 - 10:00 | Tags: sex advice, sex tips

If you had a sexual partner you were at one point having really great sex, and when I say great sex I mean outstanding sex... at least that is what it felt like at the time. This is an important foundation point to make in this article. It is what you felt at the time. Ultimately when it comes to sex what you feel is the only thing that matters. What is amazing sex to you may well be terrible sex to someone else. What is a huge turn on for you is a bucket of water to someone else. The important thing is to remember that the joy of sex is experiential – it is what you ultimately feel that matters regardless of the why. So for example, maybe the sex was amazing because you just hadn’t had sex in so long that like water to a thirsty man no matter the nature of it, it was great! Regardless start by trusting that you are not remembering things wrong – you were having amazing sex at one time.

So you were having it at one point – but now you are not. For some reason things have tailed off, gotten stale, you have fallen out of the habit of having sex, there could be any number of reasons why you are no longer having sex.

Do you care?

If you are perfectly happy with this situation that stop reading this now. If you are happy it doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. Do not chase something just because everyone else thinks you should have it. You are happy – then give yourself a break and enjoy it! If you are not happy and you do care about it, then read on...

Are you better off going elsewhere?

Before you try and reignite sex in a barren environment, remember the easiest thing to do is to go elsewhere to someone who already wants to have sex with you. Changing anyone’s mind about anything is tricky, changing someone’s emotion is even harder. So ask yourself do you really want to go through the effort? If the answer is no, just jump online and find a fuck buddy right now. If the answer is yes read on to the last paragraph.

My Top Tip to Sexual Ignition

I give one technique here. Memory recall. When we as humans remember something that we did in the past, when we recall what was going on, when we can see with our minds eye what we saw, and hear what we heard – the brain doesn’t know the difference. The brain re experiences what we experienced at that time – and thus goes to the same thinking pattern and more importantly the same *emotion*. If you recall when it was good – it will help bring back the excitement and thus the sex.

It works only in the short term

This is not a long term solution – but it can help to spring board you back into the sack.

For men – focus on your photos

EdBennett — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:41:08 +0000

12 Nov 2015 - 10:41 | Tags: sex advice, f-buddy advice, online dating

This article is aimed primarily at men. When looking for an f-buddy, you come here, you log on and you message some people. Since 95% of the meet ups that occur have been initiated by the guy messaging the girl, men often forget that sometimes the girl is the one looking for the guy! Whilst his happens rarely in terms of the online interaction process, what will happen is that when you message a girl the first thing that a girl will look at is your photos.

As a man you will have spent time sorting out all the parts of your life. Your job, your home set up, your social groups. We are defined by so much more than simply what we look like. However, when you message a girl and she clicks on your profile, the gateway to her meeting you remains the profile pic. She will look at the main photo, and make an instant and shallow judgement on whether she might fancy you or not. If it is a yes she will click through. If it is a maybe then depending on how busy she is and how many other messages she has she may or may not click through. If it is a no, she will click away. You could be a brain surgeon that saves people’s lives on a daily basis and lives in a mansion, but unless that picture looks good she will simply never find out any of this. She will already have moved on to someone else who has made sure that their photo isn’t a badly taken blur of a person in a dark room.

So what are the top three tips for photos?

Ensure that the photos are not blurry. A blurred photo is an instant turn off.
Ensure that it is good quality. Most camera phones can take outstanding photos these days, so there is no excuse for the blurry low resolution mess that I see sometimes. That is going to get you nowhere.
Ensure that it is obvious who you are in the photo. A group photo can be great; it shows you have friends and displays social proof. However, if they do not know which one you are they will move on. For your profile picture a photo of just you on your own is best.

No one can make you look different to what you actually look like, however a decent photo will make all the difference to getting a face to face meeting with a girl.