If you are the dominant one – step up and take charge

EdBennett — Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:04:46 +0000

22 Jan 2016 - 09:04 | Tags: Dominant Sex, dominate, Submissive Sex

This is aimed at the dominant one in any sexual scenario. This is typically a man, but it could also be any gender at all.

In any sexual encounter, generally someone needs to take charge and make a decision. In your day to day life most people like to have an input into what is happening / going on. When choosing a film to watch, you want to be part of that choice, when ordering food at a restaurant you probably want to choose your own dish, when moving in your day to day life you want to be in control of your own path. This rule does not apply to the bedroom.

What the submissive wants

If you are a sub (and you are either a sub or a dom) you enjoy having all the decisions made. You like having it taken care of, being guided or even told what to do, and you enjoy doing as you are told (in the bedroom this is). What you get out of it is a complete relief from any and all responsibility of what takes place in the bedroom. You get to lie back and allow it to happen. You don’t have to ask questions of right or wrong, should or shouldn’t, you get to just DO. This is a hugely liberating position to be in, you have all of the pleasure of enjoying the ride without having to drive. Most people think that to be a sub is to give up your power, but you know that you just have to say “no” to make everything stop... and until then you get to ride your way to extasy.

For the Dom – understand this for freedom to step up

Many people don’t like to step and wrest that level of control from their partner because they are the “nice guy” and don’t wish to be “nasty” in any way. Read the above and understand that actually you are giving them a huge gift. You are taking all the responsibility for the sexual encounter on yourself. If it is a good fuck or a bad fuck, it is on you. This feels like a lot to take on... but then remember that by doing this you are giving yourself a massive edge! You are 10 times more likely to make a sub come if you are in charge, if you control the interaction and what goes on. With this in mind, why wouldn’t you take control?

For all (wo)men out there who are afraid of taking control in the bedroom – remember the gift you are giving your sexual partner. Now go out there and fuck their brains out.

Whether you are dominant or submissive, seek the opposite for great sex

EdBennett — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 14:37:55 +0000

12 Sep 2015 - 15:37 | Tags: BDSM, Submissive Sex, Dominant Sex

Compatibility is the key to having a great time in bed with someone. People often mistake sexual compatibility with character similarities. This is far from the truth! Whilst it is necessary to have a certain shared foundation for the way that we view the world, the key is to find someone that balances where you sit on the sexual spectrum. Whilst there are many area’s that one could talk about, for the purposes of this article, I am going to focus on just one area, and that is where you sit on the scale of sexual assertiveness.

How you are in life is not how you are in the bedroom

Many people assume that how people in their day to day lives is how they are going to be in the bedroom. Take a strong leader in their work lives, say a CEO of a large company with multiple people working under him and the livelihoods of multiple families dependant on the company that he runs for their day to day sustenance. The assumption would be that he would also want to assume a dominant role in the bedroom, that he would naturally enjoy being in charge, leading the interaction and generally getting things his way. The logical assumption is that he would be “dominant”. Infact this is anything but true. He could easily be craving time away from being in charge, a relief from the responsibility and pressure of leading everything all of the time. This may not be the case, but be wary of assuming in advance what someone is going to enjoy.

Once you recognise what you “are” – seek someone who balances this

If you can recognise the role you would like to assume during your sexual exploits, then all you have to do is seek someone who balances this. If you wish to be dominant and in charge in the bedroom, then find someone who is more submissive. They will enjoy having things taken care for them. Equally if you wish to be more submissive and take the follower role, find a partner that actively enjoys leading. The secret here is that if you find someone that *wants* to take the opposite role then you will *both* be happy with the sex.

Finally – note the more extreme you are the more extreme an opposite you need

It is worth noting that if you are mildly dominant you want someone who is mildly submissive. The reverse is true. If you are extremely dominant then you need someone extremely submissive in the bedroom. Find your polor opposite and you will set yourself up for mind blowingly successful sex.

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If you are the dominant one – step up and take charge

Whether you are dominant or submissive, seek the opposite for great sex