Having a fuck buddy when you are married

EdBennett — Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:34:03 +0000

When people get married they promise all sorts of things, and they intend to keep all of them. They promise to love and hold each other, they promise to be there for each other in both the good and the bad times. They promise to be married and hold to these vows for the rest of their life… and at the time of making these promises that usually mean them. Things do change, however, and being flexible to life’s changes is an important thing to thrive and be happy. There is a stream of people that find themselves still wanting to be with their married partner, but also desire sex with other people. In this article, I am going to talk about some of the ways that people approach this issue and the benefits and detriments to each of these choices.

People suppress their desires

Some people simply suppress their desires. They want a fuck buddy, but they either lack the emotional intelligence to have one, or they are too scared to take any action that might threaten their current life. The benefit to this is that nothing changes… however, even this is not true. By suppressing your desires you are crushing your authentic self. This is going to damage who you are in the marriage and potentially make you a less desirable mate. Self-suppression is never a good thing. Whilst this is a popular choice, I think that it is a poor one and the pressure of lying to yourself about what you want can often destroy your current relationship.

Cheat on the person

If you want a fuck buddy who is discrete, you can likely find them. There are plenty of people in this world who are also looking for a fuck buddy to cheat on their partner with, so you can likely find them. The benefits of this are that you get to explore sleeping with other people whilst maintaining your marriage, as long as you don’t get caught. The danger is getting caught! Like the option above, you are lying to your partner and again this is a dangerous thing for you as well as them.

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

The New York Times had an excellent article recently about someone telling their fiancé about their new girlfriend. The outcome from the story is that openness really served them both well. They loved each other, they were committed to each other, but they did not wish for a life of sex with the other person and no one else. So they kept true and honest to each other whilst still seeing other people. There are enough people out there who manage to make this work to show that this is more than just luck or an exception that proves the rules. You can make it work, though there is a risk.

Personally, I would always advise honesty. There is always a risk in life, being honest is the only way to give yourself the best chance of a happy outcome in the long term.

Should you feel bad about having sex with a married man/woman?

EdBennett — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:43:06 +0000

23 Feb 2015 - 12:43 | Tags: sex with married people

This is a tough question to answer, but it’s one that many of our users have emailed us about so we thought we’d write a post about it. Generally there appears to be several schools of thought when it comes to having sex with a married partner.

• It’s immoral
• They’re the ones in the wrong for having sex, if it wasn’t me it would be someone else so I might as well enjoy it
• Some married people get off on it
• The married person is unhappy and this is their way of expressing their unhappiness

Like I said there are a lot of different viewpoints. In short there is no right or wrong here, just shades of gray.

On the one hand sleeping with someone is married is pretty immoral as they have technically made a commitment to someone else. On the other hand you are technically not doing anything wrong as you’re single and they’re not. But what if you are dating someone already? What if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend already as well? You’re then in the same boat as the married man/woman. Are you wrong? Are they wrong?

Sex and Marriage
Very often the excitement of sex in a relationship trickles out and people let it. They don’t try new things and slowly the attraction goes down. Sometimes it’s the fault of one or the other person, sometimes it’s not. Having sex with someone new and different is always exciting! If you go through with it, then it is your responsibility to ask yourself why you did it.

Is it wrong?
There is no right and wrong here. Just questions and decisions. Sometimes having sex outside of your marriage is fun because you’re bored. Sometimes it’s a way of expressing your desire to be with someone else. Sometimes it’s because you’re simply horny all the time and need as much sex as possible and your spouse can’t help!

There is no right and wrong, only choices. The only advice we have is that whatever choice you make try and make sure you don’t end up hurting someone accidentally.

F-Buddy.com - sex with married people

Having a fuck buddy when you are married

People suppress their desires

Cheat on the person

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

Should you feel bad about having sex with a married man/woman?