Confidence in dating – remember that you are awesome

EdBennett — Mon, 28 Mar 2016 12:36:51 +0000

28 Mar 2016 - 13:36 | Tags: bedroom confidence, dating and sex in Ireland

People talk often about the importance of being confident in the dating market place - and they are right to do so. There is nothing more attractive than being super confident, whether you are a man or a woman. If you walk through the world with ease, not a care in the world, fearlessly approaching whatever life hands you. Well. Damn that is hot. I mean super hot! People like to have fearless fuck buddies particularly; it leaves them confident in their ability to share the things that they are really into. To tell you about their fantasies and their sexual desires, and even then go on to fulfil them. You just don’t do this with someone who is less confident. So how can we grow this sexual confidence?

Telling yourself to just be more confident doesn't work

Confidence is bullshit in this sense. Simply telling yourself to be more confident does not work, and certainly having someone else turn to you and say “be more confident” only breeds anger! It is so annoying when people do this, right? So what *can* you do? The key is to remind yourself why you should be confident – with facts. Let’s look at this.

You know you can cross the road

You already know you can cross the road without dying. You have done it thousands of times, so when you do it, you do it with unconscious confidence. Great, right? So how did you get here? Well the first few times you did it nervously. Then at some point you started thinking “well I did it last time and survived, so I think I can do it this time and survive”. This is the key moment. Later you pushed through to knowing 100% that you can do it, but let’s zoom in on this moment. There was this point when you started to “fake it till you made it” – but with fact behind you.

How this translates to other areas

You need to be in this moment if you are unconfident about something. Instead of just telling yourself to be more confident, give yourself a fact to ride and aim for this middle ground of fake till you make it. When were you in a similar situation and it was all alright? When did you do something in a similar place, with similar people, or even just at a similar event and it all went well? If you can tap into this, remind yourself of it, then do whatever you are planning on doing, you will be able to do it with more confidence. You don’t have to be overflowing with confidence, just push it up a little... because then when it goes alright, then this becomes your next referencing point for why you can be confident.

Compound confidence

The whole thing is like compound interest. The more you do it the more confident you get and the more easily it will come. So get out there and start making evidence for yourself as to why you should be confident. Small steps to begin with is good. It will build. Trust me.

Sex & Dating in Ireland: What are the rules?

EdBennett — Wed, 19 Nov 2014 21:58:59 +0000

19 Nov 2014 - 21:58 | Tags: dating and sex in Ireland

So you’ve just got out of a shit relationship. You’re a bit fragile and you may or may not have been indulging in a bit of the Old Dutch Courage. You don’t know what to do with yourself? You see loads of hot women/men (delete where appropriate) on the streets, in shops and in bars and you think “I won’t ever have sex with any of them. I may not have sex ever again!” You may begin to cry. You don’t know the rules anymore. It’s been so long. What do you do? Well first things first; don’t panic. Secondly; be aware of the new rules when it comes to dating and sex in Ireland.

What are the new rules?
Before you study the rules, you first need to study the problem most men and women face on the dating and sex scene in Ireland.

1. The biggest problem faced by Irish guys are a lack of confidence and an over reliance on drink.
2. The biggest problem faced by Irish women is a lack of confidence and an over reliance on makeup. Also drinking too much has started to creep in over the past decade – be aware ladies!)

So how do you combat these problems?

1. Don’t drink too much especially when you’re nervous. Have a soda water and lime. It might sound like the lamest drink ever, but you can pretend it’s a Vodka tonic. Who the fuck is going to know unless they steal it?
2. Women – Don’t come across as too bossy. This was a top complaint made by Irish men in a survey undertaken on dating and the challenges in 2013.
3. Men – Don’t seek approval. Be honest and confident with what you do in your life and the woman will pick up on that confidence and like you more
4. Women – Be flirty. Don’t be friendly. Too many women were reported as trying too hard to be the guy’s friend.
5. Both – Dress code is important. You want to look good but you don’t want to look like you’ve made too much of an effort. Be sexy, but don’t be slutty. This goes for both parties.
6. Both – DON’T PLAY GAMES. If you fancy someone – let them know in no uncertain terms. Going in for a kiss or calling when you say you’re going to call are excellent signs that will get you both into bed a lot faster than playing outdated gender games.

F-Buddy.com - dating and sex in Ireland

Confidence in dating – remember that you are awesome

Sex & Dating in Ireland: What are the rules?