F-Buddy.com - female orgasm

Don’t fake an orgasm – but do be nice to the other person when you don’t come

EdBennett — Mon, 20 Jun 2016 19:34:56 +0000

20 Jun 2016 - 20:34 | Tags: faking orgasms, female orgasm, finding orgasms

We all want to please and be pleased. We all want that thing where we come really hard, have our minds blown and have the peace and calm that comes with post sex awesomeness. We also want the other person to have the same reaction. I am not sure why this is, is it just pure ego? Regardless of the why, we want the other person to feel amazing by what ever we have done with them. We want them to have come hard, to have been pleasured fully, and to want nothing more than to do it again (and again) with you because it was that amazing.

In an effort to maintain a good relationship, many people have been taught that they should fake it once in a while. I am mostly talking about women here, but men also do get this a little. They think that the occasional faking of an orgasm when it is not actually taking place is no harm, and that next time they are sure it will be better. They don’t want to set the other person up with a mental block about not being able to make them come, and I do get that. In many ways I admire the generosity – however it is not helpful and that generous approach can be better used in another way. Allow me to explain.

When you fake it, you are giving false feedback. You are telling the other person that what they are doing is great, that whatever they did made you come, made you orgasm. As humans one of the reasons that we have done so well as a race is that we are great at learning. We excel at the obsorbing of what works and does not work on a subconscious level, and then replicating the things that have brought us success. What this means is if you give false feedback, the other person learns that what they did worked. When they do it again in the future expecting you to come, and you don’t, this will be very confusing. More likely is that when they do it again, you will fake it again, confirming that whatever they did made you come. This re enforces the cycle.

What this leaves is a situation where you aren’t having an orgasm, and the other person falsely believes that you are and that everything is great. Don’t do it. Just DON’T. It is bad for everyone involved.

On that note, please go forth and have lots of sex!

You always come first

EdBennett — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 15:59:49 +0000

15 Oct 2015 - 16:59 | Tags: female orgasm, finding orgasms, making women orgasm, simultaneous orgasms

There is a bad joke that men come first in the bedroom, that women come second or not at all. Regardless of the strength or quality of the joke, there is a Tendency for men to come first in the bedroom, period. Men and women are built differently on a biological level that we have no ability to change, so let’s start by accepting that and moving on. So there are two things to be addressed here, men coming early and women coming late.

Women – learn to come, because there is only so much men can do

There is an understanding that men make women come. This is something that both men and women want to believe, and it is often true in the moment of orgasm. However, there is something which can effectively bottle neck or strangle hold the man’s ability to make her come. The question is can she come in the first place.

When a woman comes, she is the one doing it. Her body has to be relaxed enough, free from enough stress and worry, and turned on enough to orgasm. Her partner will have a lot to building towards this, but fundamentally does she know how to come? If she does not, if she has never come or has real trouble orgasming, if there is a mental or physical block preventing her from orgasm or even a medical issue – there will be nothing the man can do about it. I want to repeat this as it is so important. If the woman does not know how to come, there will be nothing their partner can do about it. It is important that the woman take responsibility for her own body and learn how to come herself. Once she can do this, it paves the way for good sex.

Men – work on your control

Again it is a stereo type that men come quickly and uncontroably. Well gentleman, it is normal to be bad at tennis if you have never spent time getting good at tennis, right? So the same is true here. Unless you make time and effort to get *good* at sex you will never get better.
Spend time learning control. There are a number of ways that you can do this, stop start technique is one that is tried and tested and that many people swear by. The other thing is “edging” - bringing yourself to the brink of coming then stopping everything in order to calm down. Learning the point of your edge is a great way to be able to recognise it when it approaches and then stop yourself from going over the edge.

Regardless: You must sort yoursex out

No one else can teach your body how to do this – only you can. So take the time to learn how to come in the way that you want to come, your orgasms will never be better than after you have done this.

How many times can a woman orgasm?

EdBennett — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 01:41:40 +0000

17 Oct 2014 - 02:41 | Tags: female orgasm

3-4 times per session.

Yes that is the international average number of times a woman can orgasm in one session of sex. That’s enough to make the average bloke wave a white flag before surrendering to an inescapable fact: the female body can be pleasured in far more ways than the male body can.

Should men be bothered by this or should they be happy?

Be bothered if you haven’t taken the time to find out how to turn your fuck buddy on
This is a general rule for guys. If you’re only interested in pleasuring yourself then you’re never going to be able to make any sexual partner you’re with come. It’s as simple as that.

How do I get a woman to orgasm 3-4 times?
Practice. You’re never going to be able to get a woman to orgasm that many times the first time you sleep together. It takes both parties time to get to know one another’s bodies. You need to find out where she likes to be touched and what spots turn her on. Once you’ve figured that out you can start hitting those spots more often and build her up to an amazing orgasm.

What else can I do?
Give it time. Time is one thing that many men and women underestimate in sex. Time and patience bring great rewards when it comes to sex. If you take the time to find out what turns your woman on and trying to make her come before you think about yourself, then you will get to the stage where multiple orgasms happen.

Are 3-4 orgasms per session a realistic expectation?
Yes, but not for the first time you have sex with someone new. It takes time to find out what a woman likes and doesn’t like. If you can get her to orgasm the first time you sleep together then you are on the right track. But even if you can’t get her to come the first time you have sex it’s not the end of the world. It just means you get to try and found out what will make her come. That’s half the fun of sex – trust me!