F-Buddy.com - BDSM

How to have angry sex, and why it is great

EdBennett — Sat, 10 Aug 2019 08:24:58 +0000

Sex is amazing. It comes in all sorts of different flavours. You can have fast sex and slow sex, soft sex and rough sex, sex where you make love to the other person and sex where you are just fucking their brains out. The best sex is also driven by emotion. Usually these emotions include a lot of lust mixed in with desire and some frustration (that you are seeking to release). The one type of sex that people rarely have is angry sex. Angry sex can be great, but it must be done in the right way. In this article, I am going to tell you why angry sex can be amazing and help you with some guidance on how to have angry sex.

Why angry sex can be amazing

Quite often the enjoyment of the sex that we have is based on the strength of emotion that we feel. If we really like the other person, if we are really turned on and driven by desire, that creates a strong emotion that then drives the sex. Interestingly though, the type of emotion is less important than we think it is. Conventional wisdom says that having sex with a fuck buddy that you love is going to be much better than having sex with a fuck buddy that you hate. In terms of the enjoyment of the sex itself, this is not entirely accurate. Strong emotion can bring out a strong experience, and so it is that angry sex can be a fantastic flavour of sex to experience! You have all that tension, stress and anger that can pour out of you and drive the sex forward to an explosive finish. You have the aftermath of relaxing having gotten it all out of your system. It can be amazing.

When never to have angry sex

If you genuinely do not like the person and are really angry with them, do not have sex with them. This can get out of hand fast and end badly for everyone. Just do not risk it.

How to have safe angry sex

The key is consent. The best thing to do is have the conversation about having angry sex when you are not angry with each other. In the calm and openness of being in a good mood, make some agreements about what you want and where the line is. Are you happy to be slapped in the face at the start? Do you need a safe word to put in just in case it gets out of hand (something I strongly suggest that everyone with a fuck buddy does in any event). Once you have an agreement in place, you are ready to go.

Have fun!

Meet our latest member: Charlotte

EdBennett — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 10:17:14 +0000

17 Oct 2016 - 11:17 | Tags: new fuck buddies, new members, BDSM, Submissive Sex

The many people that join this website are all looking for different things. Some people want a quick one off fuck, other are looking for a more medium term fuck buddy, you know more regular access to sex. Some people don’t really even know what they are looking for, they just know that they want to get laid, and that this is a great place to try and make that happen. In this, they would be 100% correct. This is the perfect place to make it happen. The one thing everyone has here in common in that they love and want to have more sex, so you are amongst friends!

Some people are looking to push their personal boundaries, to try new and different things and experience a different side to their sex life. Charlotte is no exception to this.

Charlotte says she is early 30’s which means in honesty she is probably late 30’s (I don’t know why most women lie about their age, but pretty much everyone takes about 5 years off!). She says that she is a genuine “sub” looking for a “dom”. She said she is “looking for someone to teach me the ways of BDSM”. I get the impression that she is not a complete new comer, but I think she has only dabbled so far, and so is keen to find a man that can really dominate her, really take control and take charge and run things in the bedroom the way that they want to, with no regard for how she feels about things.

If you think that you are that man, why not drop her a message?

Whether you are dominant or submissive, seek the opposite for great sex

EdBennett — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 14:37:55 +0000

12 Sep 2015 - 15:37 | Tags: BDSM, Submissive Sex, Dominant Sex

Compatibility is the key to having a great time in bed with someone. People often mistake sexual compatibility with character similarities. This is far from the truth! Whilst it is necessary to have a certain shared foundation for the way that we view the world, the key is to find someone that balances where you sit on the sexual spectrum. Whilst there are many area’s that one could talk about, for the purposes of this article, I am going to focus on just one area, and that is where you sit on the scale of sexual assertiveness.

How you are in life is not how you are in the bedroom

Many people assume that how people in their day to day lives is how they are going to be in the bedroom. Take a strong leader in their work lives, say a CEO of a large company with multiple people working under him and the livelihoods of multiple families dependant on the company that he runs for their day to day sustenance. The assumption would be that he would also want to assume a dominant role in the bedroom, that he would naturally enjoy being in charge, leading the interaction and generally getting things his way. The logical assumption is that he would be “dominant”. Infact this is anything but true. He could easily be craving time away from being in charge, a relief from the responsibility and pressure of leading everything all of the time. This may not be the case, but be wary of assuming in advance what someone is going to enjoy.

Once you recognise what you “are” – seek someone who balances this

If you can recognise the role you would like to assume during your sexual exploits, then all you have to do is seek someone who balances this. If you wish to be dominant and in charge in the bedroom, then find someone who is more submissive. They will enjoy having things taken care for them. Equally if you wish to be more submissive and take the follower role, find a partner that actively enjoys leading. The secret here is that if you find someone that *wants* to take the opposite role then you will *both* be happy with the sex.

Finally – note the more extreme you are the more extreme an opposite you need

It is worth noting that if you are mildly dominant you want someone who is mildly submissive. The reverse is true. If you are extremely dominant then you need someone extremely submissive in the bedroom. Find your polor opposite and you will set yourself up for mind blowingly successful sex.

Is There a Problem With Vanilla Sex?

EdBennett — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 10:15:30 +0000

5 Sep 2015 - 11:15 | Tags: vanilla sex, casual sex, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetish

To say that someone is ‘kinky’ or ‘vanilla’ is to ignore the wide and varied world of fetishes and sexual preferences nestled under the umbrella term of ‘kinky’. Simply put, it’s hard to say someone is truly vanilla or kinky. Everyone is different and everyone has different ways to enjoy their sexuality. Just because you enjoy being spanked does not mean you are into BDSM. Just because you enjoy having sex in the missionary position, does not mean you only enjoy having vanilla sex. As a culture, humans are obsessed with labelling things. You have to fit one label or another or we simply just don’t understand your position. It is no different when it comes to enjoying sex.

No problems here!

Supporters of BDSM and supporters of Vanilla sex have an unfortunate habit of trying to defend their positions and attack any opposing views. I went to a Japanese rope tying class a few years ago led by a legendary instructor. He was a really nice guy who earns his living from teaching and demonstrating the art of Japanese Shibari. Loosely translated it is rope tying for pleasure. He took us all through the basic beginner knots and had us practice on one another, which was quite funny. He also showed us a couple of his videos where he has travelled the world practising his art with various other performers. Make no mistake; what this man does is an art.

However, there came a point in the class where we were all discussing the various preferences and methods people use to enjoy sex. We got onto the topic of vanilla sex – a term that the instructor himself used – and its application worldwide. It was clear to anyone in the room that he did not have much time for vanilla sex, which is fine obviously. To each his own. What I do remember quite clearly however is the tone he employed when talking about vanilla sex. Dismissive, negative and at one point sneering. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he meant anything by it. He just said what he was feeling. However he failed to take into account that there are millions of people around the world who enjoy vanilla sex just as much as he enjoys kinky sex.

Room for both

What I learned in that class was that we all need to be a little more understanding of each other when it comes to sex. I might like vanilla sex over kinky sex. You might prefer BDSM to vanilla. What we must not do – and what we are all guilty of at one point or another – is to judge one another based on our sexual preferences. Just because someone does not enjoy BDSM does not mean they are worth less sexually than someone who does.

Top 5 Weirdest things people ask for during sex

EdBennett — Sat, 08 Aug 2015 09:00:11 +0000

8 Aug 2015 - 10:00 | Tags: kink, BDSM, fantasy, sex fantasy, casual sex issues

Everyone has a kink. Whether they want to admit it or not, kinks are part of who we are. We might not even know that we have a kink until someone does something that exposes us to it. But some kinks are so odd, that many partners sometimes wonder “What the fuck?!” in their heads, even if they just nod and smile to their buddy. Kinks are perfectly normal so don’t get too worried if you think you shouldn’t explore yours. However, there are some things that people ask for during sex that are just plain weird.

1. Suck my toes whilst fucking me

Some people have a foot fetish. Having their feet tickled, licked and played with turns them on. However doing all of this whilst having sex can be quite hard and distracting.

2. Watching cartoons during sex

Not porn cartoons – which are becoming increasingly popular – normal everyday cartoons. The sort that kids watch on a Saturday morning. That’s. Just. Weird.

3. Him pretending to be Bambi during sex

Okay, I kind of get the whole dressing up as a cartoon character thing, but a guy pretending to be Bambi and actually dressing up like the Disney cartoon? Yeah…that’s just a bit too weird for my tastes!

4. Rape fantasies

I don’t care how much anyone says people have this fantasy – it’s fucked up and plain wrong! Anyone who actually fantasises about getting raped needs to go and see a counsellor and get professional help. It’s not healthy.

5. Being fucked by vegetables

People will put anything in any orifice. It’s like a hang up from being a baby or something where kids would put anything in their mouth. It gets weird though when women want to shove radishes and marrows up their pussy whilst men enjoy having a carrot shoved up their butt. Not cool. Just weird.

6. Donkey Punch

Not only is this really dangerous, it’s a bit weird. Punching someone in the back of the head whilst fucking them from behind in order to get off, says something about your personality. It’s not something I want to know about.

Why Fifty Shades is Bad for Bondage

EdBennett — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 11:10:00 +0000

17 Feb 2015 - 11:10 | Tags: BDSM, Fifty Shades bad, fetish, kink

The release of the hotly anticipated movie of the badly written book about bondage is here! In it you’ll find:

• Unrealistic depictions of BDSM!
• A plot line that tries to make women think it’s okay for a guy to hurt them as long as they’ve signed a consent form
• Lessons teaching young women that men will run away unless you let them hurt you

What. The. Fuck?!

Awful
Yep. Fifty Shades (I read it!) really does contain all the material I mention above and more! Experience awful dialogue! Repetition of the same words and phrases again and again and again…and again! What’s really disturbing though is that the film will make a colossal amount of money despite sensible people knowing that it’s shit and does not portray BDSM in a realistic way at all.

BDSM
Any practitioner of BDSM will laugh and shake their head at Fifty Shades of Grey. Not only do the sex scenes illustrate a woman clearly not comfortable with the situation (author note: subs give permission and a dominant is not allowed to practice if the sub ever says ‘NO’), but they portray BDSM as a very stilted tired sex act.

It manages to:

• Portray Christian Grey as ‘sick’ because he likes BDSM
• Shows Grey is actually a light weight when it comes to BDSM
• Ignores the fact that most practitioners of BDSM don’t use cable ties because they’re dangerous. Soft ropes are preferred.

If we could recall every copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and sit down with the author and teach her what BDSM is actually about and that people who practise it aren’t ‘sick’ or ‘psychologically twisted’ then the book might actually be worth reading and the film watching.

Sad Truth
Unfortunately many women have already read the book and seen the film and no doubt many more will. But if you are interested in going to see the film, please bear in mind that it is not an accurate or realistic depiction of BDSM or the people who practise it in any way shape or form. The characters in the story are about as interesting as two planks of wood and if you’re looking to learn more about BDSM, you’d be better off finding a fuck buddy on the site here who actually practices it safely and sexily. Unlike Fifty Shades of Grey.

Fifty Shades of Nonsense?

EdBennett — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 12:39:26 +0000

15 Feb 2015 - 12:39 | Tags: BDSM, Fifty Shades of Grey

Kinky sex. It’s happening all the time. Never has it been brought to the mainstream in the past few years as much as it has since Fifty Shades of Grey was first published in 2011. Millions of middle class white women (predominantly Mum’s) have rabidly absorbed the books since then. The movie rights were bought in 2012 and now three years later the first of a planned trilogy has been released into theatres worldwide. But some troubling questions remain. Is Fifty Shades of Grey a true depiction of BDSM? If it isn’t, is that dangerous to people exploring BDSM for the first time?

Is it a true depiction of BDSM?
We asked a number of BDSM practitioners this question and the honest answer from all of them is that Fifty Shades of Grey portrays a mundane but potentially dangerous view of BDSM. It portrays a man who inflicts explicit pain on a woman who does not want him to do so, but fears him leaving her if she does not. It is this element of portrayal that practitioners of BDSM truly disagree with.

“Despite Christian getting Ana to sign a written legal consent form allowing him to hurt her (which wouldn’t work in the real world); she is clearly not comfortable with the things he does to her. In sections she is in pain and cries out. Whilst pain is an element to BDSM, it is consensual pain. There are always safe words in place should pain become too unbearable between participants. I fear that this book and the subsequent film shows people an unrealistic and potentially dangerous view of BDSM. You could get some guys thinking its okay to hurt a submissive without their consent or safe word. That is NOT okay.”
Barry, BDSM Dominant practitioner, Michigan

So Fifty Shades of Grey could be providing unrealistic expectations for people. Does that mean it’s dangerous?

Fifty Shades BDSM vs. Real BDSM
Fifty Shades of Grey is a fictional account of BDSM. That should be made very clear. If you engage in BDSM already and have read the book you will already know this. If you are considering trying it for the first time, our advice is to ignore the book and talk to people who have been doing it for years. You can consult websites for guidance or buy books about it. Our advice is to not let the lure of popular fiction influence your view or decision on BDSM.

By all means read the book and watch the film – it has got mainstream people talking about BDSM at least. Just take it with a pinch of salt.

The demand for dominance

EdBennett — Mon, 22 Sep 2014 17:16:27 +0000

22 Sep 2014 - 18:16 | Tags: sexual fantasy, BDSM

There is something often not talked about in the world of dating and that is the demand for dominance. One top fantasy that women report to have is around the dominant man. Now to anyone who has seen the figures for the massive success of cheesy badly written 50 shades of grey, (which is now due to have a film adaptation to be releases next year in February) this is not going to come as a massive surprise.
What is a less well known is it is also one of men top fantasies! In general the fantasy to submit to someone sexual ranks as one of the top fantasy with both men and women. Throughout the world there are thousands of self-proclaimed dominatrix’s earning ridiculous amounts of money catering to these men desires in a safe environment and earning a small fortune whilst they are at it.
But one thing is for sure there is a massive demand for dominant partners and a pitiful small supply.

So why is this? Well there is a numbers of problem let me list a few here:

Being dominant is not as easy as it sounds
Being dominant may sound great you can make demands and your partner needs to fulfil them. You get to laze around as your slave looks after your every need. Well that is not the reality, this person is your lover not your slave, you are taking on this role because it is a turn on to them. Their fantasy is not to service your every need whilst you eat take away and watch the telly.
The fantasy can manifest in multiple ways, but in general as the one with all the power in the situation and all the responsibility. You need to keep it sexy and interesting. Keeping up the attraction often requires a lot of skill, staying calm, demanding things, being able to talk dirty. It’s not that easy.

The fantasy and the reality often jar
As much as dominance is a really big turn on for a lot of people, it’s actually rarely lends itself to a healthy relationship. Good relationships are mostly built on compromise and understanding. What is a turn on in the bedroom can be a complete turn off in real life.
Added to this flipping between these roles, friend and partner and dominant lover rarely works well. Often this is why people use sites like this, it allow them to have a great vanilla relationship with the partner and then have a dominant lover. There is a whole cuckold scene which caters to this need.
Just remember 50 Shades of Grey is considered domestic abuse and sexual assault by the BDSM community the reality is very different. There's nothing sexy about Stockholm Syndrome.