Judge people by how they look

EdBennett — Sat, 28 Oct 2017 22:02:13 +0000

28 Oct 2017 - 23:02 | Tags: looks matter, how to be sexy, sociosexuality

When it comes to being sexy and getting laid, how you look makes a huge difference. In the modern world, we may talk a lot about how it the person that matters, that what someone is like in terms of character and attitude is the most important thing. I am not saying that for some people that it is not the most important thing, I am not saying that for many people that it is not an important factor because it is. What I am saying is that we cannot (and should not) ignore the all-important factor of how we look.

At a base level we are still human, we are part of the “animal kingdom” – and that means that it is hard coded into us to judge other “animals” by how they look when we first meet them. It is natural, it is the way that we are made. It is automatic. We as a people try and push away from that, talking about how “looks don’t matter”. Well they do, and I would like to talk about why they do right now.

Before we ever speak to someone, we look at them and we make a judgement call about what they are like. This is a split second decision that happens in the moment, off the cuff. We don’t consciously “think” about it, we just do it. From that point onwards what the person does or does not do or say will change this, but that is the starting point. We begin at what we look like.

If you look “evil” when someone see’s you, you are going to have to work very hard to come back from that. I am not sure what makes someone look “evil”, perhaps a hunched back, a twisted face, an evil grin, and a close resemblance to the joker from batman! Whatever causes it, you are stuck with it. On the flip side if you look lovely when someone first meets you, if you look warm and friendly and helpful and amenable, that impression will also stay with you, you are going to have to work really hard to wreck that impression, to destroy that impression that they have of you.

Looks do matter, and it is important to accept it. We cannot change that, we cannot alter the irrefutable fact that you will be judged by how you look and you will also find yourself judging other people by how they look. So let’s get over ourselves, accept it, and move on.

Sociosexuality

EdBennett — Sat, 30 Aug 2014 11:42:00 +0000

30 Aug 2014 - 12:42 | Tags: sociosexuality

At first glance sociosexuality sounds like a new type of sexual orientation and in a sense, it is. Rather than being an adjective to describe your gender preference sociosexuality refers more to your social attitude towards sex.

What’s the point of discussing it here?
As F-Buddy is a site designed to help people hook up for casual encounters sociosexuality is something very important to look at. It can play a big part in how much or how little you are able to enjoy casual sex. We want everyone who uses this site to enjoy it but the only way to do that is to fully understand what the different approaches to casual sex are. How you engage with one another plays a huge part in whether or not your casual encounter will be just a one night stand or a series of fun and sexy hook ups.

What type of sociosexual are you?
Sociosexuality according to Dr Vrangalova (who coined the term) is determined by your attitude, motivation and past experience of casual sex. Whether you’ve had a negative or positive experience of casual sex has only a partial bearing on your motivation to it. For example if you’re motivated to sleep around with lots of different people to enjoy a wide array of sexual experience then you are far more likely to have a positive attitude and experience. On the other side of the coin are those who are motivated to sleep around out of feelings of revenge (against an ex partner) or low self-esteem. Now you have to ask yourself honestly; which of the two examples best fits your personality?

If you fall into the first example then we would say that your sociosexual attitude is less restrictive and you are more likely to have a high level of self-esteem. If you veer more toward the second example then your sociosexual attitude is likely to be more restrictive and more liable to feelings of hurt. In this instance we would not recommend engaging in casual sex until you are feeling better about yourself.

The correct sociosexual attitude?
There is no correct sociosexual attitude in our opinion. Some people are more comfortable with having sex with only one or two people. Other people are comfortable having sex with a number of different partners and are quite happy to live their lives in this manner. There is no correct attitude. The only advice we would offer is to always ensure you approach sex from a positive place. The more positive in yourself you are, the more likely you are to enjoy a healthy sex life.

F-Buddy.com - sociosexuality

Judge people by how they look

Sociosexuality