Why is there always a pause before the sex starts?

EdBennett — Sat, 21 Apr 2018 16:38:45 +0000

21 Apr 2018 - 17:38 | Tags: foreplay, think before you fuck

It is very rare that you meet up with someone and jump straight in the sack. In the films, characters often meet up, and they are taking each other clothes off during the small talk stages. Sadly this does not reflect life. When you meet up, there is a process of spending time together before you jump into the sack, a time of acclimatisation. This is no bad thing. Half of orgasm is about the state of your mind and emotions, and this crucial time gives you the space to “warm” up your partner. It does not matter how much they want the sex, or even how in agreement you are on it! This could be the prefect fuck buddy, someone who is totally down with the no strings relationship approach to life. Their sole purpose for being in your house could be to have sex with you, an outright hook up with the clear understanding that they don’t want the paraphernalia that goes with the relationship side of things. Even in that situation, there is still a period of warm up, of a having to find your feet with each other, even when you know where each other’s “feet” are! Let’s take the example of a someone you have slept with multiple times. They are a fuck buddy, and they have booty called you for a one-night stand. Even in that situation, you still need warm up time.

Why is there this hiatus?

Personally, I think that it functions in several ways:

It gives you time to become comfortable in the space you are in. If you are the one that does not live in the location of sex, you want a little time to be subconsciously sure there isn’t a danger lurking in the background of the building. Remember, you are about to get naked, you are about to become really vulnerable. You do not want to do that before you are comfortable that it is a safe space.
It gives you time to assure yourself that nothing has changed with the other person. You need a few moments to reassure yourself of what you are about to do. This pause allows that to happen.
It gives you time to turn on and be turned on. You want to be horney before the first kiss in the ideal situation. This time allows that change to take place.

So embrace the pause, and use it well. It can make the difference between an okay night, and the most explosive orgasm you have had all year.

Sleeping with someone you’re not attracted to

EdBennett — Sat, 31 May 2014 14:39:03 +0000

31 May 2014 - 15:39 | Tags: think before you fuck

It sounds strange but sleeping with someone you’re not physically attracted to happens more often than you think. The physical need just to have sex often overrides the more rational side of your brain. You feel horny, and you just want to fuck. We’re not here to blame you for feeling that way – it happens to everyone. However we are here to try and get you to think a little before jumping into bed with the first person you meet.

Sometimes we just want to have sex and it doesn’t really matter who with. However it should matter and here are the reasons why:

1. Self Esteem Damage
If you sleep with someone you aren’t attracted to you are doing both egos damage. You have dropped your usually high standards and can inadvertently hurt an innocent person’s feelings in the process.

2. Dropping your standards causes long term damage
If you’re willing to drop your standards, even for one night only, you will regret it – usually the morning after. Not only does it smash your ego, it also prevents you from going out with someone you would be attracted to and deserve to be with.

3. Psychological and Physical Damage
This relates back to the damaged ego, but is worth mentioning. If you sleep with someone just because you want sex and you don’t care who it is, what does that say about you? It shows a lack of respect for yourself and the other people around you. This will lead to long term emotional problems that will prevent you from establishing any kind of meaningful relationship. Also if you’re in a mindset where you’re prepared to have sex with whoever comes along, you’re more likely to be less careful and could end up with an STD or an unwanted pregnancy.

4. Regret
We all hate waking up next to someone and realising that “Ugghh! I can’t believe I slept with that!” Sounds harsh, but it is a decision you will regret. Best way to avoid it? Maintain you standards and don’t do it.

5. Bad Sex
Sleeping with someone you’re not attracted to means you won’t really make an effort in the sack. You’re more likely to go through the motions and not really give a shit about trying. This leads to bad sex for both parties which is never good. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable! If you’re not having good sex because you dropped your standards and don’t care, then there’s a real danger the sex could go bad when you meet someone you actually do like.

I could go on for days about this, but these 5 reasons alone should be enough to make you stop and think about what you’re doing before you hop into bed with the first person you see, rather than the first person you like.

Think before you fuck

F-Buddy.com - think before you fuck

Why is there always a pause before the sex starts?

Why is there this hiatus?

Sleeping with someone you’re not attracted to