F-Buddy.com - when not to have sex

How long do you wait before texting a fuck buddy?

EdBennett — Sun, 29 Jan 2023 00:27:06 +0000

29 Jan 2023 - 00:27 | Tags: texting, when not to have sex, getting laid

Finding a fuck buddy is a process. That process can sometimes be really quick. Maybe you are out for the night, you see someone you like, you go over and it is instant chemistry! Bam – you both head back together to yours/theirs and you have a great night together. The next day you roll over and you still like what you see, and they do as well, so you exchange numbers and before you know it you have a fuck buddy on speed dial! It can happen like that. For a lot of people though, it does not happen as easily as this. For most people there is a bit of a process that has to take place on the journey there. You usually have to speak to a number of people before you meet someone that you like where there is chemistry. You often don’t sleep with someone the very first time you meet them. There is usually a back and forth that happens between the first meeting and the sex during which time you have to step through a careful dance. The dance can be really good fun, and it can make the sex better when you get there for, as humans, we value more highly that which we have fought and laboured for. It remains a tricky dance at times and one with pitfalls.

So you meet someone, maybe at a bar where they are a complete stranger or maybe at a house party where there is a connection of sorts. You chat, you like each other so you exchange numbers… but now you have to make a decision. When do you text them? There are different options and this can have different effects, so here are the options and the choices to help you decide.

Texting the same night

This can be really powerful. If you built a lot of chemistry in the moment and you can text them the same night and cash in / continue that, it can be a great move. For some people who need reassurance and comfort, this can also be a comfort builder. Some warnings though, you want to keep it light and snappy. You also want them to read it the same night, so if you are still out till 5am and they are asleep by 2am, don’t text them at 3am! Finally, do not send a long over the top message. If it is same night, keep it light!

The next morning

You want to think about their state of mind when reading it. If they have been drinking don’t send it when they are hung over! Wait till they have had some recovery time then send it. If they are sober this can be a good call.

The next evening

If you are going to wait till the next day, this is better than the morning for the reasons stated above.
2-3 days later

This can be a power move IF they were really into you. If not then they might have forgotten who you are!

A week later

I think this is too much generally. They will likely have mentally moved on. Do not wait this long!

Good luck!

Things not to do with a fuck buddy if you want to keep them

EdBennett — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 18:45:38 +0000

18 Sep 2019 - 19:45 | Tags: keeping your fuck buddy, how to keep your sex life alive, when not to have sex

What is a fuck buddy? A fuck buddy is someone that you have and enjoy sex with, but there is no emotional or relationship attachment outside of the sex. It is someone you are focused on having sex with. You have a clear agreement that it is, what is known as, a no-strings attached relationship. If it is a friend, then they are also often known as friends with benefits. This can be a life-changing thing for both of you, bringing a lot of fun, happiness and well-being to all involved. There are ways to fuck it up however. With that in mind, here are my top tips for things not to do with a fuck buddy if you want to keep having sex with them without starting to develop unwanted attachments.

Do not cuddle

The intimacy brought on by cuddling develops attachments and feels far more than having sex. Do not do it. If you are someone who loves spooning try and repress that desire, or accept that perhaps you want something more than a fuck buddy.

Do not expect the moon on a stick

Courtship rituals will break the fuck buddy status that you are both enjoying so much. Do not do it, do not expect it either. That includes, but is not limited to: flowers, fancy dinners and expensive gifts or jewellery of any kind.

Do not become overly demanding, clingy or hard work

This is a “friends” with benefits relationship. It is not a relationship. Remember that. Doing anything that suggests that you are demanding or territorial is a real no-no. Do not start leaving a tooth brush in the holder around their house. Be careful about leaving clothes behind. Men like to mark their territory with socks, women often use underwear. Avoid this. If they cancel on you, be relaxed about it.

Do not introduce them to your parents

I mention this only because I know that it has happened in the past. Traditionally you introduce the person that you are marrying to your parents. Do not introduce your fuck buddy to them, unless you are looking for a quick way to end that partnership!

Do not hate on them for chatting to other potential partners

They are your fuck buddy. This is a non-monogamous relationship here. They are allowed to talk to other people with the intention of sleeping with them, just as you are. If they are on tinder, are Facebook friending potential sex partners, or even going on dates with other people, that is acceptable within your agreement. If you are not okay with it, talk to your f-buddy about it. This may mean ending things, but better that than you turn into crazy stalker person. We’ve all met that person and you know you do not want to be that person.

When should you NOT have sex?

EdBennett — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 11:00:00 +0000

27 Feb 2014 - 11:00 | Tags: when not to have sex

Yes, sex can be great. It can be amazing! It can make you feel things that nothing else in this world can make you feel. Yet it can also be dangerous for your mental health if you don’t know what you’re doing. Sex despite how much we promote it, needs to be taken seriously if you are to enjoy it properly and not get yourself into any problems.

So today we ask the question; when should you not be having sex?

The Answers
1. If you are mentally unwell
Whilst sex can provide great positive endorphins flowing through your body, the come down afterwards can cause severe psychological problems if you are already in a bad place when you started. Too often people use sex as a solution to all their problems when it’s not. The best sex comes when you are already mentally healthy. The worst comes when you are feeling bad. Try to be in a good place before fucking about.

2. You feel like you owe it to your partner
No offence, but that’s just insane. Not only does it devalue your partner, it showcases your immature attitude towards sex. You should never give anyone the sympathy bone. It’s demeaning, cruel and shows a clear lack of respect for yourself and for your partner.

3. Revenge
If you’re fucking someone just to get back at an ex or to make a point to someone you disagreed with, then you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons. It won’t be enjoyable. It just demonstrates a self-loathing attitude.

4. Money
No I’m not talking about prostitution in the strictest sense. I’m talking about fucking someone just because they’re rich. You should ideally be only sleeping with people you like enough to want to sleep with. Money should never come into it.

5. Boredom
Sex will only distract you for a short period of time (even if it is a marathon session). Boredom is amongst the worst reasons to have sex as it again it showcases a lack of respect for yourself and for any partner you hook up with.

6. Loneliness
Sex will never cure anyone of loneliness no matter how much we want it to. It will distract you for a few hours and at worst actually highlight and intensify your feelings of being alone more. Don’t fuck just because you feel lonely. It won’t cure you.

7. To prove a point
This can be anything from fucking someone you consider ‘out of your league’ to just screwing the first person you meet in a bar. Just because you can fuck, doesn’t always mean you should. Have some standards for yourself and for the other people around you. Fuck someone because you like them enough to want to fuck them, not just because you can.