F-Buddy.com - dominate

How to take charge in the bedroom – and why you should do it

EdBennett — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 10:22:55 +0000

29 Nov 2018 - 10:22 | Tags: dominate, learn through sex

When it comes to having sex, at any given point someone is leading the action. This is not to say that both people don’t want to have sex, not at all! In point of fact, the reason that most people would say yes to having a fuck buddy when offered is that most people want to have sex. This is regardless of gender, colour, age (if you are a legal adult of course!). Everyone wants to have a hook up, but for the hook up to happen, someone has to make it happen. There are times when two people meet, and things are so electric that the hormone driven lust takes care of everything… but even then, someone has to make a “move”, someone has to ask the other to come over for coffee, or take them by the hand and lead them to an empty bedroom at the party.

Who is leading the sex?

At the point of absolute sexual ecstasy, often there is no “leader”. You are moving as one, or as Shakespeare put it, you have become the beast with two backs. Till this point however, someone is leading. This can change and flip back and forth. Perhaps you are in charge when undressing your fuck buddy, then they are in charge when stripping clothes of their soon to be friends with benefits. For most of it, and someone is leading. So why should you step up and be the one to take charge in the bedroom?

Why you should be the one to lead

The biggest reason – to make sure it happens! If someone does not lead things, it is likely that you will not have sex. Sure, your fuck buddy might take charge, but if they do not there will be no sex if you don’t either, so better to be sure and step up! Do the other person a favour and help make it happen.
The other reason is that it is sexy! When you are leading things, you give the other person the chance to sit back and enjoy themselves. Since one of things that prevents orgasm is any level of stress, by leading it, you take away any feeling of stress or worry from the other person about little choices that make no actual difference. It allows your fuck buddy to relax and enjoy the experience more. The better the time they have, the better the time that you will have in the moment, and the more likely they are to come back for more if you want them to.

So take the lead a little, you will be doing you both a favour!

If you are the dominant one – step up and take charge

EdBennett — Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:04:46 +0000

22 Jan 2016 - 09:04 | Tags: Dominant Sex, dominate, Submissive Sex

This is aimed at the dominant one in any sexual scenario. This is typically a man, but it could also be any gender at all.

In any sexual encounter, generally someone needs to take charge and make a decision. In your day to day life most people like to have an input into what is happening / going on. When choosing a film to watch, you want to be part of that choice, when ordering food at a restaurant you probably want to choose your own dish, when moving in your day to day life you want to be in control of your own path. This rule does not apply to the bedroom.

What the submissive wants

If you are a sub (and you are either a sub or a dom) you enjoy having all the decisions made. You like having it taken care of, being guided or even told what to do, and you enjoy doing as you are told (in the bedroom this is). What you get out of it is a complete relief from any and all responsibility of what takes place in the bedroom. You get to lie back and allow it to happen. You don’t have to ask questions of right or wrong, should or shouldn’t, you get to just DO. This is a hugely liberating position to be in, you have all of the pleasure of enjoying the ride without having to drive. Most people think that to be a sub is to give up your power, but you know that you just have to say “no” to make everything stop... and until then you get to ride your way to extasy.

For the Dom – understand this for freedom to step up

Many people don’t like to step and wrest that level of control from their partner because they are the “nice guy” and don’t wish to be “nasty” in any way. Read the above and understand that actually you are giving them a huge gift. You are taking all the responsibility for the sexual encounter on yourself. If it is a good fuck or a bad fuck, it is on you. This feels like a lot to take on... but then remember that by doing this you are giving yourself a massive edge! You are 10 times more likely to make a sub come if you are in charge, if you control the interaction and what goes on. With this in mind, why wouldn’t you take control?

For all (wo)men out there who are afraid of taking control in the bedroom – remember the gift you are giving your sexual partner. Now go out there and fuck their brains out.

Do you need to be dominant to date online?

jeni — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 22:21:00 +0000

4 Mar 2013 - 22:21 | Tags: dominate, domme, online dating

The general rule of thumb is that a woman wants a man to be a man. By this I mean that as a guy you need to be confident, in control without being controlling and responsive to your partner’s feelings and reactions. In a way it’s a bit of a contradiction to what you often hear many women say in public.

Many girls say they want a man to be caring and kind, but in the bedroom caring and kind just doesn’t cut it and the idea of losing control to a dominant alpha male is a huge turn on for many. But there are women who like to reverse the role and dominate a man in the bedroom.

The Domme
BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission and Masochism for the uninitiated) has been around since Adam and Eve first discovered that sex was pretty damn amazing. Whilst it’s true that many women love it when a man takes control sexually, sometimes those same women like to dominate their partner in the sack as well.

It’s nothing to be frightened or wary of – quite the opposite in fact. Allowing a woman to dominate you sexually can turn both her and you on in ways you probably weren’t aware of.

“Hmmm...how to say this? Well I’ve always been the dominant sort of girl among men. I boss them around, I hit them if they do something I disapprove of and I generally just like to be the woman in charge. Going further into the realm of kink, I’m always drawn to the femdom sort of stuff. I just…all around like the dominating idea.”
The Alpha Female, from ‘The Experience Project’

That quote taken from a woman who is smart, intelligent and powerful shows that there are women who like to be the boss in the bedroom. This also extends into the online world with women who want to dominate online dating and be the Alpha.

The Alpha Female
Fact is that women’s lib has been a great thing for a number of reasons.

1. It has enabled women to speak more freely and openly about their sexual desires and preferences
2. Both men and women feel much more comfortable talking about and seeking casual sex without fear of recrimination
3. Sex is no longer something to be talked about behind closed doors
4. It has allowed both men and women to talk comfortably about how much they enjoy sex

The Alpha female, whilst not to everyone’s personal taste, has been a positive contributing factor to all of this. Feel free to let her test your boundaries. You may be surprised at how much you like it.