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Fuck Buddy Ground Rules: How to Keep Casual Sex Drama-Free

Neil — Thu, 14 May 2026 04:45:09 +0000

14 May 2026 - 05:45 | Tags: casual sex, fuck buddy, Ground Rules, casual dating, australia

Starting a casual sex arrangement without any ground rules is a bit like moving in with someone without agreeing on the household chores. It sounds fine until one person assumes something the other never signed up for. A little clarity upfront saves a lot of confusion later.

The good news is that setting rules for a fuck buddy relationship doesn't have to be a long, serious conversation. Whether you're finding a fuck buddy in Australia for the first time or reconnecting with someone you already know, getting a few basics agreed upfront makes the whole thing run more smoothly. What matters is that both people are on the same page about what this is, what it isn't, and how you both want it to go. Use this guide to work out what to agree on, what to leave flexible, and how to keep things running without any unnecessary drama.

Why Ground Rules Matter (Even When You're Keeping Things Casual)

Casual doesn't mean careless. Most fuck buddy arrangements that turn messy don't fail because the sex was bad. They fail because two people had different assumptions and neither of them said so at the start. One person thought it was exclusive. The other assumed it wasn't. One thought they were friends who could text at any time. The other saw it purely as an occasional hookup. Neither was wrong exactly, but without a conversation, the whole thing drifts towards a situation neither of them wanted.

Ground rules aren't about turning a casual arrangement into something formal. They're about making sure you both get what you came for, without anyone feeling misled or hurt. A few minutes of honesty upfront is a much better investment than dealing with the fallout later.

The First Conversation: What to Agree On Before Anything Starts

You don't need to write a contract. But before you meet up the first time, it's worth getting clear on the basics.

Exclusivity. Are either of you sleeping with other people? There's no right or wrong answer here, but both of you need to know which situation you're in. An open arrangement works perfectly well as long as both people are aware of it and comfortable with it. Assuming exclusivity when there's been no conversation about it is where problems start.

Privacy. Do you want to keep this between the two of you, or are you fine with friends knowing? Most people prefer to keep a fuck buddy arrangement fairly private, but it's worth confirming that you're both on the same page rather than finding out one of you has told everyone at their work.

Contact outside meetups. Are you friends who also hook up, or is this purely a physical arrangement with minimal contact in between? Both are fine, but they feel very different day to day. If one person is texting constantly and the other is only interested in making plans to meet, that mismatch will get uncomfortable quickly.

Safe sex. Before anything physical happens, have a direct conversation about contraception and protection. This is non-negotiable and doesn't need to be awkward if you treat it as a normal part of getting started. Anyone worth having this kind of arrangement with will respect you for bringing it up. You can also check the best hookup apps and sites in Australia to find someone who's upfront about their approach from the beginning.

Setting Boundaries Around Emotions and Expectations

This is the part that catches people out most often. At the start of a casual arrangement, both people are usually clear that this isn't heading anywhere romantic. Weeks later, one person's feelings have shifted and the other has no idea.

It's worth being upfront about where you're both at. If you're seeing someone else, or actively looking for a relationship and this is just for the meantime, say so. If you're hooking up after 40 in Australia and genuinely only want something physical for a while, that context is useful to share. You don't need to give a full life history, but the more honest you are about your situation, the less likely this ends badly.

The more important part is agreeing on what you'll do if something changes. Feelings can develop in the most determined people. A good ground rule is simply to say: if either of us starts to want something different, we'll say so rather than letting it get weird. That's it. You don't need a plan for every scenario, just an agreement that honesty is the approach.

Communication Rules: How Often Is Too Often?

One of the more practical things to sort out is how you stay in touch. This varies enormously depending on the people involved. Some fuck buddy arrangements involve a lot of friendly banter and regular contact. Others are minimal: a message when one person wants to make plans, and that's about it.

Neither approach is wrong, but the mismatch is the problem. If you're someone who prefers minimal contact outside of actually meeting up, say so early. Something as simple as "I'm pretty low-contact between meetups, just so you know" is enough. It's not cold, it's honest, and it avoids the situation where someone's messaging you good morning every day and wondering why you're not responding.

Equally, if you want to stay in touch as actual friends, say that too. Some of the best fuck buddy arrangements involve people who genuinely like each other and want to keep that up. That's fine, as long as you both want the same thing.

When the Rules Need to Change

A good arrangement isn't static. Life changes, circumstances shift, and what worked perfectly three months ago might not be the right fit now. The rule here is simple: if something stops working for you, say something rather than letting resentment build or quietly checking out.

Common reasons to revisit the setup include: one person starting to see someone else seriously, either person's feelings shifting in a way that wasn't expected, or the arrangement simply running its natural course and both people having moved on without formally acknowledging it. Any of these is a normal outcome. The only bad version is where neither person says anything and the whole thing quietly becomes uncomfortable.

A brief honest check-in every month or two is a healthy habit for any ongoing casual arrangement. It doesn't need to be heavy. "Still good with how things are?" is a perfectly functional question.

Knowing When to End It (And How to Do It Decently)

All fuck buddy arrangements end eventually. The good ones end cleanly, without drama or resentment, because both people treated each other with a bit of basic respect throughout.

If you want to end things, be direct. You don't need an elaborate reason or a long conversation. Something straightforward like "I think I'm ready to wind this up, hope that's all good with you" is respectful and honest. It's much better than going cold, cancelling plans repeatedly, or just disappearing without explanation.

If the arrangement ends because one person has met someone they want to pursue properly, that's a completely normal outcome. The way to handle it decently is to say so clearly and early, rather than keeping the casual arrangement going while you work out how the new situation develops.

The goal is to reach the end of the arrangement with both people feeling fine about it. That's entirely achievable as long as you've been honest throughout.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you actually need rules for a casual sex arrangement?

Not formal ones, but yes, some basic agreements help a lot. The most important ones are around exclusivity, contact outside meetups, and what you'll both do if feelings shift. A five-minute conversation upfront prevents most of the scenarios that make casual arrangements go badly.

What are the most important ground rules to set?

Exclusivity (are you both seeing other people?), safe sex (discuss contraception and protection before anything physical), contact frequency (how much you're in touch outside of meetups), and emotional honesty (agreement that if feelings change, you'll say so). Everything else tends to sort itself out.

What should you do if your fuck buddy starts to catch feelings?

The kind thing is to be honest and clear as soon as you notice the dynamic has changed. Stringing someone along is harder to recover from than a direct conversation. If you're not in the same place, say so. It's uncomfortable for about five minutes and then both of you can move on properly.

How do you end a fuck buddy arrangement without it getting awkward?

Be straightforward and do it early rather than going quiet. A simple, honest message is all you need. Most people appreciate the directness and would much rather hear a clear "I think it's time to wind this up" than several weeks of cancelled plans or cold replies. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated in the same situation.

Is it okay to have rules about who you tell?

Completely. Privacy is a reasonable thing to agree on, especially if you share mutual friends or work in the same industry. Just make sure you're both on the same page rather than assuming the other person is keeping it quiet when they're not.

Married Fuck Buddies: A Discreet Guide to No-Strings Hookups

Neil — Sun, 03 May 2026 00:54:20 +0000

3 May 2026 - 01:54 | Tags: fuck buddy, married fuck buddy, No strings attached, casual sex, hookup

Casual hookups are no longer the exclusive territory of singles in the USA. A growing number of married men and women are quietly looking for a fuck buddy on the side, an arrangement that scratches the sexual itch a long-term marriage often cannot. If you are curious about how this works, where these people actually meet, and how to do it without blowing up your life, this honest guide lays out everything you need to know about married fuck buddies in the USA.

This is not a moral lecture and it is not romanticised. It is a practical, judgement-free walkthrough of how a married fuck buddy arrangement tends to look in real life: who pursues it, why it appeals, where you can meet someone, how to keep it discreet, and how to walk away when it stops working.

Why So Many Married Americans Are Looking for Fuck Buddies

The reasons married people seek casual sex outside the marriage are rarely as dramatic as television dramas suggest. The most common drivers are simple: mismatched libidos, sexual boredom after years with the same partner, a sexless marriage that neither spouse will openly discuss, or a craving for a specific kink the marriage does not include.

For many, divorce is not on the table. Children, shared finances, family expectations, religious community, and the basic comfort of a long marriage all weigh heavily. A discreet sexual outlet feels like a workable compromise rather than burning the house down. Others are in openly non-monogamous marriages where outside sex is permitted but emotional involvement is not, and a fuck buddy fits that brief perfectly.

None of this is rare. Look at any of the major hookup platforms in the USA and you will see a meaningful slice of the user base openly identifies as married, separated, or in a complicated relationship. The demand is real, the supply is real, and the stigma online is far lower than at a bar in your home town.

How a Married Fuck Buddy Arrangement Actually Works

A married fuck buddy is not a girlfriend or a boyfriend. The arrangement is built around sex, scheduling, and almost nothing else. Most successful setups share a small set of features.

The contact pattern is intermittent. You meet up when both schedules and risk levels allow, often weekday afternoons or business-trip windows rather than weekends and evenings. Texting is functional rather than flirty, and the chat thread is usually buried in a separate, password-protected app or wiped after each meet.

Locations skew towards privacy and plausible deniability. Hotel day rooms, short-term rentals, and the home of whichever person has the safer setup are normal. Driving across a state line for a single afternoon is not unusual. Public photos, restaurants near work, or anywhere a colleague might appear are off limits.

Money usually does not change hands. This is mutual recreation, not sex work, and treating it that way matters legally and ethically. If you find yourself talking about gifts in exchange for sex, you have drifted into a different arrangement entirely.

Most importantly, both people accept that the arrangement ends the moment it gets risky, messy, or emotionally complicated. The whole point is low drama, and pretending otherwise is the fastest way to wreck two marriages.

Where to Find Married Fuck Buddies in the USA

Mainstream dating apps are a poor fit. They lean towards relationships, the demographics skew younger and single, and your wedding ring will be the first thing in every screenshot anyone takes of your profile. Married hookup hunting works far better on adult dating sites that openly cater to no-strings sex.

Look for sites that let you mark your status as married or attached without hiding it, that have private photo galleries you can grant on request, and that have an established USA member base in your metro area. A platform with twenty thousand active users in a five state region around you is more useful than a global app with millions of inactive accounts.

F-Buddy is one of the no strings sites that fits this brief in the USA. Our guide on how to find a fuck buddy in the USA covers the practical setup of a profile, while the wider field of no strings platforms is worth comparing before you commit to one.

Whichever site you choose, treat the search as a numbers game. Most messages will not get a reply. That is normal and not personal. Married users are filtering aggressively for safety, and they should be.

Discretion and Safety: Protecting Yourself and Your Marriage

Discretion is the single biggest skill in this arena, and it is mostly digital. A few habits separate people who get caught from people who do not.

Use a dedicated email address that is not linked to your real name, your work, or any service your spouse can see. Set up the hookup app on a device or under a profile your spouse never touches, and disable lock screen previews so a stray notification does not pop up at dinner. Pay any subscription with a prepaid card or a card that does not appear on a shared statement.

Photos are where most married daters get burned. Never post a face photo on a public profile. Crop out tattoos, jewellery, wedding rings, the inside of your car, your house number, anything that lets a casual viewer reverse-image you back into your real identity. Save face shots for private exchange after you have judged the other person to be equally invested in keeping things quiet.

Sexual health matters even more than usual. You are not in a closed pair, and neither is the other person. Use protection every time, get tested regularly, and have an honest conversation about other partners before you ever meet up. A married fuck buddy who tells you they only sleep with you is almost always lying, and that is fine as long as you both behave like it.

Finally, keep your real life sealed off. Do not introduce a fuck buddy to your friends. Do not let them visit your family home. Do not put their number under their real name in your phone. The arrangement only works while it stays compartmentalised.

Setting Ground Rules with a Married Fuck Buddy

Most blow-ups in these arrangements come from rules that were never agreed in the first place. Spend an hour on this conversation early, and the next year of meet-ups will be much smoother.

Agree on contact frequency. Daily texting blurs the line into an emotional affair fast. Many married fuck buddies stick to a quick check-in to arrange the next meet, and that is it.

Agree on what you will not do. No social media follows. No appearing in each other's photos. No contacting each other on weekends or family holidays unless it is an emergency. No drunken late-night calls.

Agree on exclusivity expectations honestly. If either person catches feelings, name it and end the arrangement before it does damage. If either person starts a new outside arrangement, they should mention it in the context of sexual health rather than hide it.

Agree on what happens if the worst happens, meaning a spouse finds out. The standard answer is that you both immediately go silent on each other and never make contact again. Discuss it before it is needed, not after.

Red Flags to Watch For

A few warning signs save people a lot of trouble. Be wary of someone who refuses to confirm their marital status when asked directly, since they are either single and pretending to match your situation or married and lying to you about something else. Be wary of anyone who escalates emotionally fast: love-bombing, talk of leaving their spouse for you, or jealousy after only a couple of meetings.

Watch for asks that creep into your real life: their favourite restaurant near your office, a request to meet your friends, a sudden insistence on going public. Watch for inconsistent stories about their home situation. And trust your gut if something feels off. There are plenty of other people on the platform.

How to End the Arrangement Cleanly

Every fuck buddy arrangement ends. Yours might end because one of you moves, gets divorced, reconciles with their spouse, falls for someone serious, or simply gets bored. The best endings are short, kind, and final.

Send one clear message saying the arrangement is over and you wish them well. Do not negotiate, do not draw it out, and do not promise to stay in touch as friends. Delete the chat history, remove their contact, and resist the urge to check on them six months later. A clean break protects both marriages and both reputations.

If you ever want to start something casual again in the future, you can do so on a fresh footing with a different partner. Going back to a former fuck buddy almost always reopens whichever wound caused you to stop in the first place.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are married fuck buddies actually common in the USA?

Yes. Major hookup platforms in the USA consistently report a meaningful share of users who openly mark themselves as married, attached, or in an open relationship. The arrangement is not a rare niche, and demand is roughly balanced between men and women on the larger sites.

What is the difference between an affair and a married fuck buddy arrangement?

An affair usually involves emotional involvement, secrecy that hides feelings rather than just logistics, and a slow drift towards wanting a relationship. A married fuck buddy arrangement is deliberately limited to sex, has explicit ground rules, and ends as soon as either person catches feelings. The line is not always clean, but the intent is the difference.

Can you really keep a married fuck buddy arrangement discreet online?

Yes, if you take the digital hygiene seriously. Use a dedicated email and device profile, never post identifying photos publicly, pay with a card your spouse cannot see, and disable lock screen previews. Most discoveries happen because of lazy phone security or a face photo that ended up on a public profile, not because the platforms themselves leak information.

What if your married fuck buddy wants more?

End the arrangement promptly and kindly. Do not try to talk them out of their feelings or stretch the situation in the hope they will recalibrate. Continuing to meet up after one person has clearly fallen for the other is unfair to them, unfair to both spouses, and the most common path to the whole thing being discovered.

Is a married fuck buddy ever consensual within the marriage?

Sometimes. A meaningful number of married users on hookup sites are in openly non-monogamous, swinging, or "don't ask, don't tell" arrangements that their spouse has agreed to. If consent within the marriage matters to you, ask directly before things go further. The honest answer will tell you a lot about whether this person is worth your time.

Ready to find your match? Sign up free at F-Buddy USA and start browsing thousands of like-minded members tonight.

Don’t be Afraid of Your Fetish

EdBennett — Fri, 17 Jul 2020 09:24:58 +0000

17 Jul 2020 - 10:24 | Tags: fetish, kink, casual sex

Are you:
- Turned on by pregnant women?
- Aroused by feet?
- Constantly thinking about how you would tie up your partner and spank them until they scream?

If one of these fetishes sounds like you, call 0800 - … just kidding. If one of these fetishes sounds like you, don’t worry. Everyone has a kink whether they’ve discovered it or not. It might be as simple as enjoying sex more by an open fire. It might be as complicated as licking someone’s feet from under their desk whilst masturbating. Whatever your fetish may be, we’re here to help and to tell you that you shouldn’t be afraid. You are not alone. The trick is learning how to safely explore your fetish without it affecting the rest of your life.

How to explore your fetish safely

Talk to your partner
It sounds so simple when put like this, but you really do need to talk to your partner about what it is you want to do. If you don’t then you’re going to get frustrated and they’re going to be confused with your demeanour. It’s not fair on either party. Here are several ways you can approach it depending on your social status.

1. The Direct Approach
If you’re not good at working your way up to things and are a more ‘take it or leave it’ kind of person, then you should start with this approach. It will make you feel more comfortable in talking about your kink and this will translate into your body language. You will also come off as less passive-aggressive. It will also determine sooner rather than later as to whether or not your partner is on board.

2. Working your way up
A bit like extended foreplay this; working your way up to talking about it only works if you’re not a very direct person. Don’t wait too long to tell your partner as they may have already formed a completely different opinion of your sexuality. Be candid and honest and answer any questions they have to the best of your ability.

3. Passive-Aggressive
I do not recommend this at all, but it needs to be mentioned as some people don’t know how else to operate. If you can’t discuss your kink by either of the other two methods then you will most likely use the ‘if you really like me’ approach with your partner. Again I do not recommend it, but people are different and we must cater to all tastes. You’re much better off using either the direct or indirect approach.

Is There a Problem With Vanilla Sex?

EdBennett — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 10:15:30 +0000

5 Sep 2015 - 11:15 | Tags: vanilla sex, casual sex, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetish

To say that someone is ‘kinky’ or ‘vanilla’ is to ignore the wide and varied world of fetishes and sexual preferences nestled under the umbrella term of ‘kinky’. Simply put, it’s hard to say someone is truly vanilla or kinky. Everyone is different and everyone has different ways to enjoy their sexuality. Just because you enjoy being spanked does not mean you are into BDSM. Just because you enjoy having sex in the missionary position, does not mean you only enjoy having vanilla sex. As a culture, humans are obsessed with labelling things. You have to fit one label or another or we simply just don’t understand your position. It is no different when it comes to enjoying sex.

No problems here!

Supporters of BDSM and supporters of Vanilla sex have an unfortunate habit of trying to defend their positions and attack any opposing views. I went to a Japanese rope tying class a few years ago led by a legendary instructor. He was a really nice guy who earns his living from teaching and demonstrating the art of Japanese Shibari. Loosely translated it is rope tying for pleasure. He took us all through the basic beginner knots and had us practice on one another, which was quite funny. He also showed us a couple of his videos where he has travelled the world practising his art with various other performers. Make no mistake; what this man does is an art.

However, there came a point in the class where we were all discussing the various preferences and methods people use to enjoy sex. We got onto the topic of vanilla sex – a term that the instructor himself used – and its application worldwide. It was clear to anyone in the room that he did not have much time for vanilla sex, which is fine obviously. To each his own. What I do remember quite clearly however is the tone he employed when talking about vanilla sex. Dismissive, negative and at one point sneering. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he meant anything by it. He just said what he was feeling. However he failed to take into account that there are millions of people around the world who enjoy vanilla sex just as much as he enjoys kinky sex.

Room for both

What I learned in that class was that we all need to be a little more understanding of each other when it comes to sex. I might like vanilla sex over kinky sex. You might prefer BDSM to vanilla. What we must not do – and what we are all guilty of at one point or another – is to judge one another based on our sexual preferences. Just because someone does not enjoy BDSM does not mean they are worth less sexually than someone who does.

Worst Chat Up Lines Ever

EdBennett — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 10:47:21 +0000

17 Aug 2015 - 11:47 | Tags: chat up lines, casual sex, f-buddy, texting, sexting, messaging

In keeping with our recent glut on what to write in a first message, we’ve decided to share and comment on some of the worst chat up lines we’ve had the misfortune to read. Sadly I wish I could say these were false. Sadly they’re not. Read on dear user, but beware these types of chat up lines in your conversations. The chances of you getting laid using them will be zero to none.

1. Opener: “Spit or swallow?”
Response: “Douchebagosauraus or Fucktard?”

This one made me laugh. But considering the guy had just been pretty lame with his opening message, he got what he deserved.

2. Opener: “That’s a nice bra. Want me to help you out of it?”
Response: “No.”

Also made me laugh, however this can work depending on the mood of the person you’re sending it to.

3. Opener: “Hey babe. I’ll fuck you so well; the neighbours will be having a cigarette at the end of it!”
Response: “That’s great! I love ‘Neighbours’. My favourite character is Paul Robinson.”

Funny simply because of the innocent sarcasm in the response. Again dirty talk can work, but rarely on the first message or chat up line.

4. Opener: “Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.”
Response: none

That the guy actually thought he was going to get a response is funny in itself. That he thought this was a good line to open with is just plain weird and quite sad.

5. Opener: “Hi there, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?”
Response: Varied

Okay, I thought this one was quite funny. It had the benefit of humour and the acknowledgement that in a casual setting this can be used well. However it still triggers a varied response with many women choosing never to respond. Back to the drawing board guys!

6. Opener: “Do you want to be my insignificant other?”
Response: “Fuck you, dick head!”

One of my favourite bad lines and one of my favourite responses. Kind of says it all really.

Top 5 Messaging tips Guaranteed to Get you a Response

EdBennett — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 09:43:47 +0000

15 Aug 2015 - 10:43 | Tags: messaging, casual sex, sexting, texting

Over in the UK we’ve been talking about the top mistakes people (mostly guys) make when sending someone a message for the first time. We’re letting the blokes in blighty ponder our sage advice for a while. Whilst they’re doing that, we thought we’d dispense some similar advice to the studs in Oz. Having trouble getting a girl to message you back? Wondering why, even though you’re sending hundreds – if not thousands of messages – no one is responding? Sit back and listen up hot shot. You’re about to get your mind opened and filled with advice on just how to chat up a date online.

1. Special Subject

A lot of guys open with ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey babe’. Unsurprisingly these rarely get a response. Try opening with a specialist subject. Have you read their profile? Try thinking of something to say that shows you have something in common with them. Think beyond your comfort zone. Make her want to message you back.

2. Humour

You don’t have to be Jim Jefferies to get a girl to laugh. Try injecting a little humour into your messages. If you seem calm and relaxed in this, you’re more likely to get a reply. Don’t be mean, but you can gently make a joke about something someone has written on their profile. This often elicits a laugh and is more likely to get you a response.

3. Keep it short and snappy

Be to the point. I can’t stress this enough. If you spend ages thinking of a long rambling message to send, you’ve spent too much time on thinking about it. Just look at the profile, think of what you’d like to say, and say it in the shortest amount of words possible. Just don’t resort to ‘Hi Babe’.

4. Focus on quality

Again, you need to be thinking about the content you’re sending. You hate having spam in your mailbox, so don’t send spam to someone you’ve never met (and more importantly want to meet). Think about what you want to say and tailor it to each person you want to talk to.

5. Re-Read what you wrote

Before you hit the magic ‘send’ button, have a look at what you’ve written first. Like all writing it’s good to give your draft a once over before thinking it’s genius prose. Guess what? It most likely isn’t. So check your ego at the door and re-read your messages before you send them.

What’s it like to be a porn star?

EdBennett — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 08:48:52 +0000

6 Aug 2015 - 09:48 | Tags: porn, casual sex, fantasy, sex fantasy

Loads of our members enjoy porn. Hell, the reason the industry is so big is because of the sheer volume of people who view porn. Often seen as a seedy industry, proper pornography can be just as complex to film and edit as a Hollywood blockbuster. Male actors have to stay hard in extraordinary situations, female actors sometimes have to deep throat a dick for hours on end and the camera crew can get exhausted trying to get as many angles as possible on film. Porn to us is a useful fantasy aid to have when masturbating or when with a fuck buddy. But what’s it actually like to be a porn star?

1. For male actors, erections can be hard to achieve

That scene where the dude is banging the chick for what seems like hours on end, can take an eternity to get right. The camera has to be in the right positions, the female actor has to be properly lubed and both actors have to stop and start when filming different shots. Maintaining an erection is expected, but as we all know, that’s just not possible without physical and mental aids. Everything from Viagra to injections in the dick are used to help male actors stay hard. Not fun.

2. For female actors the mouth can get tired

When going down on a guy, you’d normally expect the blow job to last a maximum of 10 minutes in the real world. In the porn world a blow job can go on for literally hours. Again getting a good shot is everything (no pun intended), so the actors have to stop and start again and again. Imagine having a guy’s cock in your mouth for that long? Might be fun at first, but eventually your jaw gets tired, and your mouth can get sore.

3. The bits that look like the ultimate fantasy are not that awesome for the performers

That scene where the guy is fucking the girl from what seems like an impossible angle may look incredibly hot, but if you were to try this in the real world, the sex would not be that fun. Having a dick pounding parts of the vagina that were not meant to be pounded can be uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. Now imagine both actors having to maintain the illusion of pleasure on their faces throughout. Not fun.

4. Anal sex is difficult

We’ve already talked about anal sex a lot, so it should come as no surprise that porn stars have to take more precautions than most. A butt is a butt at the end of the day, so if you’ve not cleaned out your anus, the results during sex are going to be messy and uncomfortable. Porn actors who do anal have to have regular enemas in order for the anal sex to be achievable. Not great.

5. Fetish often earns stars more money

It should come as no surprise that fetish has personal and financial rewards. Actors sometimes don’t even have to have sex to earn a cool $2000 per session. Many people just like to watch someone dressed up as a nurse or schoolteacher (insert relevant fantasy here) to get off. Fetish can be a big earner in the industry.

6. Competition is huge

Due in large part to the internet boom, anyone who’s anyone thinks they can now be a porn star. The industry pros are right to tell us that it’s simply not that simple, but increased belief has meant increased competition within the industry to stay relevant.

So remember, porn can be fun to watch and enjoy, but it’s not that simple when you’re working within the industry.

Top 5 Ways to Get a response from a F-Buddy

EdBennett — Sat, 25 Jul 2015 10:39:11 +0000

25 Jul 2015 - 11:39 | Tags: messaging, texting, what to say, casual sex, adult dating, online dating

Quite often you message a lot of people hoping to get a reply, and the next time you look in your inbox you find it’s still empty. Why is no one responding to you? It could be a number of things. They could be busy and just haven’t had time to read your message yet. It could be their message box is full and they can’t receive anymore messages. It could be that you send the exact same messages to different people. Whatever the reason, here are a few ways to boost your chances of getting a response to your messages.

1. BE CREATIVE

People (women especially) receive the same old tired and boring opening messages from prospective f-buddies. Everyone is tired of reading about how gorgeous they are or how sexy they are or getting ‘liked’ or ‘winked’ at. Be a little more creative with your messaging and you might find you get more responses. Noting something about someone’s profile and then writing about it in a message is a start. Don’t just say ‘Hi’ or ‘U R SEXY!’

2. BE CONFIDENT

Half of finding a good f-buddy is mindset. If you have low self-esteem when you start looking, it may sink even lower. People can smell when someone’s not feeling confident even in a message. Lack of confidence is not attractive. Men and women are both attracted to confidence in general. Someone who is not naturally confident will struggle here. So if you’re not naturally confident – pretend that you are when you’re messaging! The more you pretend the more you project a confident air. One day you realise it is no longer an air. It’s real.

3. BE CHARMING & ATTRACTIVE

You don’t message people with the intent of acting like an arrogant dick. You message people wanting to show them that you are a charming and attractive person. Being a cock will not get you a f-buddy – or if it does, they won’t stick around for long.

4. BE ENDEARING

Often confused with ‘be mysterious’. Women aren’t after mysterious men. They’re after interesting men who are endearing. Endearing means you’re fun, attractive and generally good to be around.

5. BE GRACIOUS

If someone doesn’t want to have sex on a first date, that’s okay. Believe it or not most people want to get to know someone even a little before they hop into bed with them. Be gracious if your potential f-buddy doesn’t want to have sex the first time you meet.

How to find a hot date

EdBennett — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 11:40:18 +0000

20 Jul 2015 - 12:40 | Tags: casual sex, hot dates, how to get a hot date, hook up, dating, adult dating

I have dated women who at the time I thought were way out of my league. I’ve dated stereotypically hot eastern European women who all seem to look like they’ve walked off the cover of a bikini shoot. I’ve dated athletically good looking blonde former police officers. I even accidentally got drunk at a film premier party and ended up in bed with a very hot dancer the same night. I never thought I would ever come even close to dating let alone sleeping with women of this supposedly ‘high’ calibre. But I did.

What kind of person am I?

I would stereotypically be called a bit of a geek. I love science fiction and fantasy. I enjoy role playing. I love movies and I love reading. I’m not an athlete though I do go to the gym at least once a week to try and stay healthy and prevent middle age spread. I am not and never was the typical high school jock that had all the girls clamouring for his attention. It took me quite a few years to realise what my strengths were and how I could show them more in my personality. Eventually I realised the following about myself:

1. People think I’m funny and have a good sense of humour
2. I like meeting new people and chatting about no end of subjects
3. I’m intelligent
4. I have a full life with lots going on

Now when I look at that list now, I think “Wow! I actually sound like a pretty cool guy!” But I have never been able to think that about myself until the last few years. At school I got picked on, ignored and generally trodden on by students and staff alike. I never knew what my worth was because it had been engrained into my psyche that I had no worth beyond providing a few cheap laughs. Now I realise I had more worth than anyone else at school. It has helped me find myself and learn that I am a good person.

And that dear reader is the key to finding a hot date.

RECOGNISE YOUR AWESOMENESS - AKA - BE YOURSELF

Everyone is different and everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Some people are more naturally athletic, some are more naturally funny, some are more naturally intelligent, and some are more naturally good natured. Whatever your strength is, tap into it and share it on your profile as much as you can. There will be a hot date out there who likes you for you. Anything else is a waste.

Do Looks Really Matter Online?

EdBennett — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 10:10:14 +0000

18 Jul 2015 - 11:10 | Tags: dating profile, photos, online dating profile, casual sex, hook up

The first thing that people look at when searching for an online date or hook up is the profile picture. Sorry to all those daters out there who hold onto the myth that ‘looks don’t matter’, but unfortunately they do. At least at first. Profiles that have no photo are 80% more likely to be ignored than profiles that do have a photo. But if you’re worried about how you look in your photos, then try either getting someone you trust to take pictures of you, or take some yourself. I know so many people who hate having their picture taken, but when it comes to online dating (especially adult online dating!) a decent couple of photos are essential to success.

Why?

Imagine your profile as your personal resume. Potential hook ups are going to view your profile in the same manner an employer views a resume. If your resume is badly written and presented, you are less likely to get an interview. Similarly if your dating profile is badly written and presented, you are less likely to get noticed, let alone sex with someone you like. The photo is the first thing people see on your dating resume. If you haven’t bothered to include one or worse put one in that doesn’t reflect who you are at all, then your dating resume will fail. Humans respond to visual stimulation at first encounters, which is why it is highly important to have a good photo in your profile.

A good photo showing you in your best light is your first and best chance at attracting the right kind of dater to your profile. If you fuck this up, then you only have yourself to blame if you get no positive results. Fortunately we never look as bad in photos as we sometimes think. Other people tend to like our photos more than we do. All you need is a decent shot of you looking at your hottest and most inviting. If you’re including your face in the photo we recommend smiling. A good smile goes a long way in attracting someone to your profile.

Naughty Photos

Everyone responds to different visual stimuli so it is up to you on what kind of photos you include on your profile. The kind of hook up you want to attract will respond differently to different photos so bare this in mind. If you’re someone who likes to tease before revealing all, don’t share naked photos or photos of your penis or vagina. It will attract the wrong type of hook up for you. If you’re someone who likes to show all and attract someone similar, than by all means share whatever you feel is appropriate for you.

The key to any photo you include is to have it reflect your personality and who you are. If your photos don’t do this, ditch them and pick some new ones.