Having a fuck buddy when you are married

EdBennett — Fri, 26 Apr 2019 07:34:03 +0000

When people get married they promise all sorts of things, and they intend to keep all of them. They promise to love and hold each other, they promise to be there for each other in both the good and the bad times. They promise to be married and hold to these vows for the rest of their life… and at the time of making these promises that usually mean them. Things do change, however, and being flexible to life’s changes is an important thing to thrive and be happy. There is a stream of people that find themselves still wanting to be with their married partner, but also desire sex with other people. In this article, I am going to talk about some of the ways that people approach this issue and the benefits and detriments to each of these choices.

People suppress their desires

Some people simply suppress their desires. They want a fuck buddy, but they either lack the emotional intelligence to have one, or they are too scared to take any action that might threaten their current life. The benefit to this is that nothing changes… however, even this is not true. By suppressing your desires you are crushing your authentic self. This is going to damage who you are in the marriage and potentially make you a less desirable mate. Self-suppression is never a good thing. Whilst this is a popular choice, I think that it is a poor one and the pressure of lying to yourself about what you want can often destroy your current relationship.

Cheat on the person

If you want a fuck buddy who is discrete, you can likely find them. There are plenty of people in this world who are also looking for a fuck buddy to cheat on their partner with, so you can likely find them. The benefits of this are that you get to explore sleeping with other people whilst maintaining your marriage, as long as you don’t get caught. The danger is getting caught! Like the option above, you are lying to your partner and again this is a dangerous thing for you as well as them.

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

The New York Times had an excellent article recently about someone telling their fiancé about their new girlfriend. The outcome from the story is that openness really served them both well. They loved each other, they were committed to each other, but they did not wish for a life of sex with the other person and no one else. So they kept true and honest to each other whilst still seeing other people. There are enough people out there who manage to make this work to show that this is more than just luck or an exception that proves the rules. You can make it work, though there is a risk.

Personally, I would always advise honesty. There is always a risk in life, being honest is the only way to give yourself the best chance of a happy outcome in the long term.

Sex Before Marriage?

jeni — Sun, 26 May 2013 08:28:30 +0000

26 May 2013 - 09:28 | Tags: fuck buddy can help, sex before marriage

When did sex before marriage become socially acceptable? Can anyone actually remember a time when it wasn’t acceptable? No? Well believe it or not there are still many western cultures who believe sex is a sacred bond between husband and wife.

Of course we all know that to be utter nonsense. There are so many different sexual relationships in the world it is ignorant and arrogant to assume that one method is better than another. Sex does mean different things to different people.

We’re not denigrating anyone who believes in only having sex after they get married. We respect people’s views just as much as anyone else. However practically speaking, sex before marriage is a great and highly justified way to find out what you do and don’t like in (and out) of the bedroom.

Why a fuck buddy can be a positive thing
The idea of having a fuck buddy is totally incomprehensible to some people. What’s worse is that many men and women who actually have sex regularly with a friend or someone they met but aren’t boyfriend or girlfriend to, actually don’t think of that person as a fuck buddy. Even though that’s exactly what it is.

Having good sex regularly has been psychologically proven to aid in people’s well being. Not having sex or having bad sex has been scientifically proven to be detrimental to a person’s mental well being. Having someone you like that you can sleep with is a positive aid to a psychologically well rounded life. Even if you’re not interested in pursuing a deeper relationship with the person you’re having sex with, you’re still having sex with someone you like enabling you to go about your day with a more balanced head on your shoulders. This is why having a fuck buddy helps.

The Marriage Thing
Marriage can be great. Bet you didn’t expect us to say that eh? Well, it’s true. A fulfilling marriage both emotionally and physically can be very much like an addictive drug. Having sex with more people before you get married (practised safely) may end up in your long term relationship being stronger than those who have not had sex before getting married.

Knowing your partner inside and out before you agree to tie the knot, logically is the best thing for a human being to pursue. Having a fuck buddy, or a friend with benefits….whatever you want to call them, can and has aided people in establishing longer lasting relationships in the future. Why is this?

1. You’re more comfortable with yourself, who you are and what you want so you have fewer hang ups – very attractive to a potential partner
2. Sexually you have no concerns at all – you already know what you like and don’t like which will lead you to making the best choice for you when looking for a person you want to pursue a longer relationship with
3. You’re just totally chilled out – Because you’ve been having regular sex it is extremely likely that you are totally calm…almost zen like in your attitude to life and love.

Can no sex before marriage ever work?
You only need to take a look at the worldwide historical and present day statistics on what an unhappy marriage actually is and funnily enough the majority of the complaints that come in all focus around a dissatisfying sexual life.

Again, we’re not saying that not having sex before you get married can’t work. What we are saying is that psychologically, scientifically and statistically speaking, the more sex you have before marriage, the better off a marriage will be.

F-Buddy.com - sex before marriage

Having a fuck buddy when you are married

People suppress their desires

Cheat on the person

Tell them and sleep with someone openly

Sex Before Marriage?