F-Buddy.com - bondage

Is There a Problem With Vanilla Sex?

EdBennett — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 10:15:30 +0000

5 Sep 2015 - 11:15 | Tags: vanilla sex, casual sex, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetish

To say that someone is ‘kinky’ or ‘vanilla’ is to ignore the wide and varied world of fetishes and sexual preferences nestled under the umbrella term of ‘kinky’. Simply put, it’s hard to say someone is truly vanilla or kinky. Everyone is different and everyone has different ways to enjoy their sexuality. Just because you enjoy being spanked does not mean you are into BDSM. Just because you enjoy having sex in the missionary position, does not mean you only enjoy having vanilla sex. As a culture, humans are obsessed with labelling things. You have to fit one label or another or we simply just don’t understand your position. It is no different when it comes to enjoying sex.

No problems here!

Supporters of BDSM and supporters of Vanilla sex have an unfortunate habit of trying to defend their positions and attack any opposing views. I went to a Japanese rope tying class a few years ago led by a legendary instructor. He was a really nice guy who earns his living from teaching and demonstrating the art of Japanese Shibari. Loosely translated it is rope tying for pleasure. He took us all through the basic beginner knots and had us practice on one another, which was quite funny. He also showed us a couple of his videos where he has travelled the world practising his art with various other performers. Make no mistake; what this man does is an art.

However, there came a point in the class where we were all discussing the various preferences and methods people use to enjoy sex. We got onto the topic of vanilla sex – a term that the instructor himself used – and its application worldwide. It was clear to anyone in the room that he did not have much time for vanilla sex, which is fine obviously. To each his own. What I do remember quite clearly however is the tone he employed when talking about vanilla sex. Dismissive, negative and at one point sneering. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he meant anything by it. He just said what he was feeling. However he failed to take into account that there are millions of people around the world who enjoy vanilla sex just as much as he enjoys kinky sex.

Room for both

What I learned in that class was that we all need to be a little more understanding of each other when it comes to sex. I might like vanilla sex over kinky sex. You might prefer BDSM to vanilla. What we must not do – and what we are all guilty of at one point or another – is to judge one another based on our sexual preferences. Just because someone does not enjoy BDSM does not mean they are worth less sexually than someone who does.

How to try bondage for the first time

EdBennett — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 14:14:01 +0000

19 Jan 2015 - 14:14 | Tags: 1st time bondage, fetish, bondage, casual sex

“I want you to tie me up and do me hard!”

Those words are often music to a man’s ears! But what if you’ve never tried bondage before? You have no idea how your partner wants you to tie them up. You have no idea how they want you to ‘do them’ once you’ve tied them up. What if you cut off their circulation? What if they laugh at you once they see how awful your rope tying skills are? All these questions have plagues every man’s mind whenever the subject of bondage is brought up and they’ve never tried it.

Conquer your fears
Bondage is nothing to be afraid of. Done correctly it can be one of the most erotically powerful sexual acts you can share with a partner. All you need is a little spirit and a sense of humour when you first try it. As long as you have these two things, you’ll be fine. So here’s a quick-fire guide on how to try it for the first time.

1. Make sure you’ve got the right material
Christian Grey might be all the rage but you need to make sure that if you decide to use a tie to tie your lady up, it better be the right kind of tie. You can buy specially made bondage ties online and in sex shops.

2. Try restraints the first time
If you’re not too hot on your rope tying skills, you can always buy a special bondage kit complete with bed restraints and handcuffs. This will allow you to explore your domination fantasies without the fear of you or your partner laughing.

3. Book yourself onto a rope tying class
It’s worth investigating these classes. You can usually find one in your local area – yes bondage has become very popular in the past decade – and the instructors will ensure all your fears are addressed in a safe and fun environment. More importantly they’ll give you the confidence to try rope tying yourself and teach you that it’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time.

4. Start off light and see where it goes
It’s important to remember that sex is always supposed to be fun. Bondage is a part of the performance that can greatly aid sex if done right. Don’t try anything too complicated the first time you give bondage a go. Start light and see where the night takes you.

Bondage: The Rules Every Playmate Should Follow

jeni — Sat, 13 Jul 2013 08:00:00 +0000

13 Jul 2013 - 09:00 | Tags: bondage, rules, safety

Bondage is not for everyone, though we’d wager a good proportion of users on our site have at least experimented with it at some point. However no matter how light or heavy the bondage there are some vital rules everyone should follow. Kinky sex can bring great orgasms and pleasure. It can also bring great injuries and pain.

Below is a list of rules compiled from some bondage professionals we have consulted in providing our members with as much safety information as possible. Follow the rules and have fun!

Bondage: A brief definition
Before we plough on with the rules, we thought it would be wise to fully define what we mean when we say ‘bondage’. Not everyone (even those who participate in it) is fully aware of what it means in a sexual context which is why accidents can occur.

So simply put bondage is the tying, restraining or binding of another person for the sexual and/or psychological pleasure of the parties involved.

Rather a cold definition isn’t it? But an accurate one.
Bondage can be amazing. But it does carry risks and we want you to be aware of them.

THEMS THE RULES!

1. Learn and perfect every bondage skill BEFORE using it on a partner. Risk is unavoidable but can be greatly reduced when you know what you’re doing.

2. Anticipate the obvious. Interruptions can occur at any time (beds breaking, neighbours or friends calling etc etc), so be prepared for you begin your session.

3. Learn the basic pulse sites of the human body. This allows you to position ropes and restraints accordingly lowering the risk of injury to either party. For reference: pulse points are located on the wrists, inner-upper thighs and throat.

4. Ropes/Restraints should be snug NOT tight. You should be able to slip a finger underneath the rope or restraint.

5. Learn how long each bondage restraint can be endured and time it. This will help reduce the risk of injury.

6. Submissives: Never let anyone you don't know tie you up or restrain you. You are literally putting your life in someone’s hands during bondage so trust is a crucial factor.

7. Safewords. Agree them and practice them before you begin.

8. NEVER use a chain or rope around the throat.

9. Ensure you have a heavy pair of scissors ready to cut ropes and restraints should something go wrong.

10. ALWAYS observe a bound submissive when restrained. Check constantly for skin discolouration, numbness, and cold skin. These symptoms will present as blood circulation deteriorates.

Follow these rules and you will enjoy bondage a lot more.
Trust us. And remember it is all about trust.