One day you meet someone. Perhaps you meet them through work, maybe you meet them whilst on a train or a bus. Lots of people are meeting people online, through dating sites or more progressive websites like f-buddy. It doesn’t matter how you find someone, but let’s say you find a woman.
Things move along nicely. At a speed that is comfortable to you, you hug, then kiss, then you are fucking her. The sex starts off as okay (as it usually does with a new person) but then this quickly progress’s along to being good, then before you know it you are having great sex. There are other surprising elements to this woman as well. She is nice to you. Not only does she want you to flip her on her front, grab her by the hips and fuck her hard from behind, but afterwards she is nice to you. She talks, she listens, and you end up doing things outside of the bedroom together. Food, the occasional film. She really likes you, and despite your usual aloof “don’t give a fuck” attitude with women when you know that it is really just a fuck buddy, you start to really like her back.
You over invest
You start to do things for her. You think about things she might need from the shops and pick them up. You start to spend your money on her in ways that are other than buying condoms and lubricant. You start to change your plans for her, and choose to spend time with her over other people. In short, you start to really invest in her.
She senses it – and pulls back
She can sense that you are starting to like her a lot. She can see your actions, and to begin with she likes it... but then she starts to question your value as a man. As long as you were aloof, she saw you as better than her, your withheld attitude made her feel like you were above her league and so she fancied you more for it. Now that you are at a level, she starts to withdraw a little.
You react to this by investing even more
You see her liking you less, so to make her like you more you start to do even more for her. You buy her dinner, presents, even flowers. You push hard to make yourself nice to her.
The more you push the more she retreats
The more you push hard, the more you actually push her away. She fancied you because she was investing more in you than you in her. Now that this is the other way around her attraction to you fades then is gone completely.
She leaves and you are wrong about the reasons
You think she leaves because you didn’t buy her flowers early enough, because you didn’t do more to make her feel good. No. You are wrong. She left exactly because you did those things in the first place. You were a chode, and that is not who she wanted to be with.
Learn from this. If you over invest, if you put mush more in that the other person, you are guaranteeing that this coupling will end. Fact.