No matter how much we might seek freedom and self awareness, we are ultimately a product of our society and upbringing. Unless we have made a conscious life long effort to free ourselves from the mental rules and constraints that have been bred into us from a young age, we will not be able to help ourselves but unthinkingly conform to rule and then post justify their existence. This 2 step process is extremely important to understand, the story we tell ourselves about why we follow those rules are false and untrue, they are made up by our imaginations so that we can then feel okay about being brainwashed automatons. You may be reading this wondering what on earth I am talking about. Let us take a nice clean example that we can all relate to. Sex.
In western society we pass our heritage down through the male bloodline. Since resource was always scarce (ie no one has endless money) we want to be sure that we are raising our own children, and not accidentally raising the children of another man. This is the biological imperative when seeded in western soil. It is very hard to tell if a child is yours or not, all babies look pretty similar when they are young. So in order to help control that, we started to control sex. We invented monogamy.
Monogamy is the act of only sleeping with one person. It is the opposite of an open relationship. Even when people move to having fuck buddies (a huge improvement) they often start by only feeling like they can have one fuck buddy, thus remaining “monogamous” to some degree. Freeing yourself from this shackle is extremely difficult to do, it is a difficult process, because we have been raised with it from birth. One man and one woman is what we are told... oh how wrong this is to force this upon people. There is nothing wrong with it as a choice, however being told this is the only choice is where there is an issue.
There are other societies and examples of where this is not the case, and people flourish. In Papua New Guinea the line is passed down through the female side. A woman, when she falls pregnant, knows 100% that the child is hers. She does not need to worry about resources, her child is without a doubt from her genetic seed. This means that they don’t really care too much about who the father is. They have the option of sleeping with whomever they want, having hook ups with different people, and when they get pregnant they know that the child is theirs for sure so what does it matter who the father is? For us this is a very strange and unusual concept! That all comes to our upbringing.
There is no issue with following the guidance and rules laid down by our peers and parents, as long as it is exactly that. A choice. Not forced on us, but to be picked because we want to, chosen from all the many options that are presented to us. To be monogamous, to have a fuck buddy, to have several fuck buddies some of which you occasionally have threesomes with, to just have hook ups with people that you meet in a no strings attached kind of a way. Whatever your choice is, remember that it is yours to make, and no one else's.
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