After a certain amount of living, you will hit a routine, and there is nothing wrong with this, however sexual routine can really kill your sex life, and I would like to talk about what causes this lack of sexual excitement and how to avoid it if it hasn’t happened, and how to fix it if it has.
Routines without variation kills us
We all hit routines in our lives, and there is nothing wrong with routines in a basic sense. Routines are good, they allow us to do things efficiently without having to think about them too much, and the more we do a routine the slicker and smoother it gets, the more we do it efficiently and to better effect. Routines are great – and they help our lives. Routines can also be the fun killer.
When we get too set in our routines, we start to lose an ability to step out of that routine – and stepping out is where we are most alive. The routines of the same thing every day all blur into one till we cannot tell one day from another, and so the days we really remember, the days that we look back on with fond memories are usually days that we break from those routines, the days were we do something different. Usually because it is different, we also use the word exciting to also describe those days. We see friends and we say: “Oh! Do you remember when so and so did such and such? So funny!” We are always referring to when something is different, when something has been done that is outside of the usual routine or pattern. It is the break from routine, the norm, that really helps us to live.
With sex, just a pinch of change is all it needs
With a job you might be talking about doing something really big to alter your routine, like completely moving company! When it comes to sex, you only have to change a very small thing for this to make a difference. If you usually just have sex after going to the pub, go somewhere else instead. If you always go out before, stay in, and if you are always at home, go out. If you always have sex in the bedroom, do it in the kitchen, if on the bed, try the floor! If you are usually on top, try being on the bottom for once! If they normally instigate it, try taking control of the reigns and being in the driving seat for once! It really doesn’t matter what you change, just change something.
Start with something fun!
Is there something that you have always wanted to do in the bedroom? Or something that you think would be fun? Or even just something you quite like the idea of doing that you can do before sex even if it has nothing to do with the sex? Sometimes it is as simple as “do you remember that time we went out to that XXX gig and loved it?” “Oh yeah! Then you put me against the wall and nailed me so hard! How could I forget that night?”
Start small
If you are unsure start small. If you are lacking in inspiration as a few friends about some of their best nights of sex and see what they did before or during that you might like to try.
Avoid routine – just do something different, you will reap the benefits just as much as your partner.
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