We all want more sex and better sex but we also normally tend to look for this sexual satisfaction in the wrong places and therefore make the wrong assumptions as to why we are not getting as much sex as we would like to be. A common assumption that will come to those that are sexually unsatisfied is that it is their natural physical and or psychological aspects that defines their sexual success rate and the the conclusion that leads to is that there is nothing that they can do about it.
This leads to despair and retreating into oneself and avoiding situations where you could have sex due to a fear of what they conceive as inevitable failure. This trap is all too easy to fall into and especially if the people in your life are not boosting your confidence and helping you there can often be almost nothing you can do to avoid falling into self pity without help.
The real issue is that the lack of self esteem is the biggest issue in almost all situations when it comes to sex. The reason for this is that there is really no real sexual appeal to somebody that you pity, so if you are putting across the impression that you are weak and not worthy that will be a turn off for most people. You may gain their friendship if you are lucky but even then they may find your sexual attraction to them uncomfortable, and this is an uncomfortable and annoying situation for both parties, no one gets what they want.
So you need to put across to the people you find sexually attractive that you are more than worthy of them, but that they would be lucky to have sex with you. This can slip into the smarmy over confident area which honestly will still get you laid but might have a negative effect on your friendships long term with both sexual and non sexual partners.
So we know that we can get more sex, it is always in our power but what is it that we should actually do? Well let's take a quick look at the areas to focus on and in the next post I will go into more detail on how to make these habits a reality for you:
1. Love yourself, and the first step in doing that is to come to terms with what you do not like about yourself and accept those parts of you as critical part of the great whole that you are.
2. Sex is not that big a deal, you can get some, and the sooner the better to get outside your head. If you are desperate, that will come across.
3. Your sexual advances are a good thing and you should not feel guilty for your desires. There are thousands of people that would be super happy to be the focus of your sexual desire. You are not a sex pest, you just need to flirt better and show your sexuality successfully.
Alright next post I'll start covering these aspects of getting your sex life where you want it.
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