The demand for dominance

22 Sep 2014 - 18:16 | Tags: sexual fantasy, BDSM
50 shades

There is something often not talked about in the world of dating and that is the demand for dominance. One top fantasy that women report to have is around the dominant man. Now to anyone who has seen the figures for the massive success of cheesy badly written 50 shades of grey, (which is now due to have a film adaptation to be releases next year in February) this is not going to come as a massive surprise.
What is a less well known is it is also one of men top fantasies! In general the fantasy to submit to someone sexual ranks as one of the top fantasy with both men and women. Throughout the world there are thousands of self-proclaimed dominatrix’s earning ridiculous amounts of money catering to these men desires in a safe environment and earning a small fortune whilst they are at it.
But one thing is for sure there is a massive demand for dominant partners and a pitiful small supply.

So why is this? Well there is a numbers of problem let me list a few here:

Being dominant is not as easy as it sounds
Being dominant may sound great you can make demands and your partner needs to fulfil them. You get to laze around as your slave looks after your every need. Well that is not the reality, this person is your lover not your slave, you are taking on this role because it is a turn on to them. Their fantasy is not to service your every need whilst you eat take away and watch the telly.
The fantasy can manifest in multiple ways, but in general as the one with all the power in the situation and all the responsibility. You need to keep it sexy and interesting. Keeping up the attraction often requires a lot of skill, staying calm, demanding things, being able to talk dirty. It’s not that easy.

The fantasy and the reality often jar
As much as dominance is a really big turn on for a lot of people, it’s actually rarely lends itself to a healthy relationship. Good relationships are mostly built on compromise and understanding. What is a turn on in the bedroom can be a complete turn off in real life.
Added to this flipping between these roles, friend and partner and dominant lover rarely works well. Often this is why people use sites like this, it allow them to have a great vanilla relationship with the partner and then have a dominant lover. There is a whole cuckold scene which caters to this need.
Just remember 50 Shades of Grey is considered domestic abuse and sexual assault by the BDSM community the reality is very different. There's nothing sexy about Stockholm Syndrome.

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