Is casual sex cold?

13 Sep 2014 - 11:49 | Tags: casual sex cold?

An article appeared in an evening newspaper last year that got a lot of us here at F-Buddy thinking about how important the role of casual sex has become in modern society, particularly amongst women. Tradition thinking would have us all believe that casual sex and hook ups are propelled the majority of the time by men but the truth is much different.

The Career Women
Women are a lot smarter than a lot of men. No more so does this become apparent than in the realm of the bedroom.

“Monday night drinks with Tim then back to mine for sex. Wednesday night dinner with Martin before going back to his. Sunday is lunch with David but as I have a meeting to prep for on Monday he’s out the door by 3 in the afternoon. I don’t have time for a relationship and I don’t want one. My career is my focus but I still want sex. I don’t have time to think about another person’s needs, so I’ve found a way to service my career and still have regular sex.”
Melanie, 27, Perth

Melanie (not her real name) is one of millions of young women who is at a stage of life where she is trying to get as high up on the career ladder as possible. Her schedule is busy with time for friends and family at a premium. She doesn’t want a boyfriend because she feels it would dent her aspirations at this point in her life. A lot of traditionalists would call Melanie’s attitude ‘cold’ and ‘unfeeling’. I would say her attitude is healthy. She’s being very honest with what she wants and why she’s doing what she does. Does that make the sex she’s having ‘cold’?

“If anything the sex I have is great because I’m not worrying about what any of the guys I sleep with thinks. I just concentrate on enjoying myself and getting what I need from it. They get what they need too so it’s a ‘win win’ from both perspectives.”
Susanna, 28, Brisbane

The Modern Woman
The modern woman is striving to achieve an equal footing with men on the career ladder. They are closer than ever to achieving equal status and even though there is still work to be done that time gets closer. For many women this means (like a lot of men) they have to be more calculating about any relationships they enter to. Casual sex allows both men and women to fulfil a physical need without sacrificing their career and relationship ambitions.

Is that cold? We would argue it’s sensible.

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