Being honest with your fuck buddy

Having a fuck buddy is fantastic. Getting sex on tap is one of the most self-evident advantages, but there are much more. You can be open and honest with a fuck buddy about what you want and what you like in the bedroom. That honesty is partly fuelled due to the lowered stakes that are created without the expectations that are attached to a more traditional relationship.

When you are in a monogamous, long term relationship where you are merging your lives outside of the bedroom, there is much more pressure to be and act in a certain way. There are also much higher stakes if the relationship does not work out. To give you a more developed example, were you in a relationship with a shared property, kids, shared items and assets then the failing of that relationship can cause a huge amount of turmoil. You have to separate your assets, possible sell or move out of your home, your whole life has to change. This means there are high stakes to keep the relationship going, and those stakes can cause you to be less honest. If you are concerned or worried that your partner may not like something you think, want or have done, you may be inclined to not say anything. This leads to you being dishonest to your authentic self, and that is not something that is okay. Furthermore, being dishonest to your authentic self degrades your confidence and commitment to being you, thus diluting you ability to be who you are in the world. This ultimately makes you less attractive, as you are no longer the person that your partner chose to be with. Being honest is really important, but it is much harder to be honest in that long term relationship.

With a fuck buddy, being honest is easier. This comes from a few places. Being sexually honest is often easier because fuck buddies tend to be more open to suggestion and trying new things. This is not always the case, but it is often true. Being honest about sex is also easier because it is seen as the primary purpose that you are there, so you ought to talk about it. The big reason remains the lowered stakes. In a worst-case scenario where you decide to part company, there is no splitting of assets, you are not moving out of your home, there is no collapse of your way of life as you know it. Yes, you may be saddened by the ending of the relationship and may find that you miss the sex, but ultimately you are fine and you know you are going to be fine. This means you can be honest. If that honesty causes your fuck buddy to leave, then whilst it may be disappointing, it is not the end of the world.

So be honest with your fuck buddy. It is one of the great things about having one, so you should take advantage.

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